Hormones

As incredible as it may seem, only now, six years on, am I addressing the intricate state of my hormones. My body is pretty frustrated with me about this tardiness, and has been screaming at me with some rather obvious signs to SORT IT OUT!

Where shall I start? A recent ultrasound showed numerous tiny cysts in my remaining breast. That, coupled with heavy, painful periods and pre-menstrual migraines is a clear indication of oestrogen dominance. Hmmmmmmm, oestrogen dominance eh? No big surprise there. If you go on the contraceptive pill at 15 tender years old (for painful periods, which could have been quite beautifully managed instead with magnesium!) you can bet your arse you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of hormone imbalance. Now, listen to this for a catastrophic cycle. Excess oestrogen (as found in the contraceptive pill) supports the growth of candida. Systemic candida causes leaky gut and malabsorption, which inhibits the excretion of unwanted oestrogen from the body, promoting it's reabsorption and contributing further to oestrogen dominance. Candida depletes gut production of B vitamins, which have a role in metabolising oestrogen to it's safer, weaker sister. To compound these issues, a recent 23andme test shows that I have skewed genetic pathways in both oestrogen and B vitamin metabolism! 

As with all hormones, oestrogen and progesterone are synergistic. As we head begrudgingly towards menopause, progesterone levels decline, and the delicate balance between oestrogen and progesterone becomes skewed, leading to hot flushes, etc. Enter Serenity Bio-identical Progesterone cream which naturally rebalances oestrogen levels. I've been using this for about 4 months with quite amazing results. No more pre-menstrual migraines. No more flooding or blood clots. Good. 

Back to my body, which has been yelling at me with textbook signs of hypothyroidism: cold hands and feet, dry skin, weight gain, low libido, tiredness. Tick, tick, tick....you get the picture! Recent blood tests backed this up, highlighting a low white blood count, low ferritin, low platelets, low T3, high cholesterol, all of which points to a deficient thyroid. And guess what? Thyroid deficiency also has a role in oestrogen dominance. Or oestrogen dominance has a role in thyroid deficiency. You see how easily this delicate hormone dance can become imbalanced? To complicate issues, adrenal insufficiency is fairly common due to to constant low level stress, and we need fully operating adrenal glands if the thyroid is to respond to any medication! Let's come back to candida, again. Leaky gut causes autoimmune disease, the thyroid gland being a common target of the misdirected immune system. Convoluted but all beautifully tied in. Of course it is, every cell in our body is connected through a system we can only hope to try to understand!

So now we come to the fun part. Yesterday I met my newest doctor. I always fall in love with the best ones, and I am pleased to say that I have a new crush! Dr Barry Durant-Peatfield is a retired NHS doctor. He resigned after a forced suspension, having upset the British Medical Council because he refused to prescribe the synthetic drug Thyroxine, over the natural version (which is dessicated bovine or porcine thyroid gland.) He's an old-school doctor in the best sense. He relies on old fashioned testing: pulse, reflexes, and basal temperature (this is your temperature on waking, before rising. The ideal body temperature is 36.5 degrees. Those with hypothyroidism often measure around one degree lower. Women who are still menstruating should take their temperature on days 1 - 4 of their period). His clinical diagnosis suggests that I have thyroid and adrenal insufficiency. His common sense (and that fact that Serenity has worked so well for me) suggests oestrogen dominance. My coated tongue tells him that I still have some work to do on overcoming candida.

My new protocol involves taking Adrenal Support, Thyroid support, Serenity cream and continuing to work on candida (I'm using caprylic acid, Pau Darco, oregano oil and cinammon). He anticipates that within a few weeks I'll be feeling great. His parting words? "You all get better" I can't wait!

The Shift

The reality of living with cancer, is that my feelings toward it are different from one day to the next. While it's true that I wouldn't change my life-giving diagnosis, it's also the case that some days are tough. In these moments there's a gnawing fear that something is growing, insidious and unseen, beyond my control but within my body. It manifests as a darkness and is overwhelming. This is when meditation comes into its own. Breathing brings me back to peace. There's a deep reassurance in reclaiming just an element of control whilst releasing all control! Of knowing that I'm doing my best, and that my best is good enough. Meditation has brought me an understanding that I'm here purely to experience, to play. We humans are powerful beings and whatever the outcome of disease, living in the moment is the key to absolute happiness. 

I've always believed that cancer could be shifted in a matter of hours, or even minutes, if the mindset, no, the whole environment, was right. I've sensed that I was tantalisingly close to that place, and yet I held on to cancer, enjoying the ride, loving how much I was learning from it. 

And now something beautiful is happening. After almost 6 years of living with a degree of fear and uncertainty, something is changing. I am well. I feel well. I have no symptoms of cancer, and despite my incessant detective work, peering into the microscopic realms of my body, I find that the more I know, the less I really know. I'm starting to trust in something greater. 

Faith. What a companion. It makes everything so much simpler because with faith comes a heightened sense of guidance and intuition. I feel tuned in to a bigger voice, my inner voice. Cancer has brought me here and I am grateful.

Australia

For a long time we've put off travelling. We've postponed it because we spend all of our available money on my health. On organic food, supplements, doctors appointments, scans, tests and treatments. After my last disappointing test result in February we decided to stop procrastinating and get on with living. I am, after all, alive!

And so, we've just spent the last month in Australia, catching up with family and old friends, revisiting places that I loved when I lived there in my twenties, soaking up the sun and immersing ourselves in glorious nature. 

There's been something incredibly healing about this trip. When I was first diagnosed, I spent a lot of time visualising myself on Bondi beach, arms around the shoulders of slightly-more-grown children. Do we manifest our reality because that's where we put our energy, or do we move towards a future which we are able to visualise purely because it's our destiny? Either way, I've spent the past month feeling very blessed, very present, and very healthy. 

I packed the most basic supplements: magnesium, DIM, calcium d-glucarate, iodine, colostrum, probiotics, krill, frankincense and IP6, alongside my trusty enema bag. I ate fantastically well thanks to a burgeoning health scene - chia pudding and a protein ball at the airport? No problem! Vegan? Gluten free? Easy. Every apartment we rented had a blender, and every cafe had a green juice or smoothie on the menu. 

I meditated on ocean-washed rocks and remote palm-fringed beaches, went for massages and practiced yoga under paperbark gum trees. I rode a bike, walked, ran, kayaked, swam and snorkelled. I watched the sun rise and contemplated my beautiful life.

During one particularly potent meditation came the words "cancer is fear", and I knew this to be true. I know that I carry fear like a shadow. But not on this holiday. A month away from fear must surely be the most powerful form of healing.

I felt fully guided throughout the entire trip. Everything felt easy. On our last day in Sydney I woke early to watch the sun rise. A photographer sitting behind me captured my moment and sent me the picture. It felt like the perfect confirmation of being in exactly the right place at the right time. 

The emotional body

I can't believe that I haven't written about this properly before, but such a HUGE part of returning to health relies on emotional healing. 

I've recently started the most beautiful Yoga Nidra practice. Every Wednesday night I join three or four others at the local village hall, and have my eyes and body opened by my wonderful teacher. He's fascinated by the way that we hold emotion, energy and experience in our body, and how that ultimately affects our health. He gently encourages us to explore pain as pure sensation, to breathe the body and let go. I'm becoming acutely aware of where I hold 'stuff', of how entrenched these patterns are, and of how liberating 'letting go' can become. 

Taking this one step further, I've experienced a couple of one on one co-meditation sessions with him. Wow! Some things came up of which I had no conscious memory, and the processing of those memories has positively changed certain relationships for me, relationships that I thought I had worked through many times over the past 5 years.

It's an old analogy, but returning to health is like peeling back the layers of an onion. A bloody huge onion it would seem! 

Over the past 5 years I've explored lots of different emotional, energetic and spiritual healing practices. Reiki and Acupuncture would be at the top of my list for an instant re-setting of mood and energy. I've seen spiritual healers who have helped me to tap into my higher self, and to trust in something bigger. I went on a Journey weekend with Brandon Bays, where we meditated until I could literally only sense myself in the thin film of my nostrils. We delved into our cellular memories and released! Hypnotherapists have helped me to retrain my subconscious beliefs about myself.

Meditation, visualisation and positive affirmations have become part of my daily routine. When we meditate we enter parasympathetic mode, which slows the heart rate, breathing rate and blood pressure, soothing the sympathetic system (which is responsible for the adrenal fight or flight state). Emotions trigger real chemical reactions in the body, so fear activates adrenaline, and in this state vital healing functions such as digestion, circulation and the immune system are shut down and compromised. During meditation, the mind and body are relaxed and calm, allowing the body to do what it does best; repair! Visualisation is a fantastic way of 'tricking' the body into healing. Every day, organ by organ, I visualise my body as healthy, optimally functioning and cancer free. This positive belief is passed on to the body as real. 

As well as seeking out practitioners I've delved into books about spirituality and the mind-body connection. My top three would definitely be "You Are The Placebo" by Joe Dispenza, "The Biology of Belief" by Bruce Lipton, and "Journey of Souls' by Michael Newton.

Of course, there's so much more to explore. I'm really drawn to sound baths - the idea that we resonate at a certain frequency, and that being bathed in those frequencies can bring us back to a state of pure harmony. It's been a long time coming, but that's definitely next on the list!

Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign (2015) Rant

This year's breast awareness campaign asks us to post a photo of a can of coke nestling between our breasts. Apparently thought up by an adult modelling agency, we can now expect to be subjected to a barrage of pictures of perfect (fake?) boobs cradling a modern day poison. A CAN OF COKE!? There are approximately TEN teaspoons of sugar in a can of coke! I cannot even..... 

And for those of us who no longer have the full compliment? For those of us who have had lumpectomies, mastectomies, or just plain don't own the perfect set of media breasts? I've never heard of such ignorant stupidity. Objectifying breasts in the context of breast cancer - I find it totally offensive.

When will we get it right? What's needed is education about the link between poor diet and cancer, sugar and cancer, convenience food and cancer, stress and cancer. The list goes on. What is not needed is advertising off the back of cancer. Even a campaign showing us how to check our breasts is shutting the gate after the proverbial horse has bolted. We need to stop putting plasters over the issue and address the root cause. We need a whole generation of children to start taking responsibility for their health, understanding how to create wellness in themselves so that they never have to experience the joys of cancer. How wonderful would it be for the next generation of girls (and boys) to dodge this modern day bullet?

What next? A campaign to raise awareness of colorectal cancer sponsored by McDonalds? Livid!

You know what's coming next.....a selfie of my chest with a green juice :D

Acceptance

There's been a huge shift in the way I think about cancer lately.

A good friend sparked this new mindset in me. I told her that I was struggling to visualise myself cancer free when I'd just paid someone a lot of money to tell me exactly how much there is in my body! She suggested that I accept the cancer is there, and listen to it. 

I took that nugget with me on a run, and what came up was surprising. I've never 'owned' my cancer cells, but maybe it's time to. They're here to teach me something, that much is certain. They are also a part of me, a microscopic version of me. These cells want to be acknowledged, listened to and loved. Negating them, hating them, fighting them just creates more conflict. Conflict is not conducive to healing. What we resist persists. 

The message was profound, but so simple:

"I acknowledge cancer as I wish to be acknowledged.
I listen to cancer as I wish to be listened to.
I love cancer as I wish to be loved."

And so I've meditated, visualised, created new affirmations, and I've come away with Acceptance. It feels so good.

I may or may not keep cancer in check. The reality is that I am not in control. I can eat well to FEEL well. I can run and practice yoga for my health, not to fight cancer. It finally occurs to me that the Universe may have plans for me other than my own! I may desire a sunny day. I can meditate on it, wish for it and long for it, but the only truth is that if I joyfully accept the day for whatever it brings, I'll be happy in the moments. I think I may finally be learning to let go, surrender and trust. 

Hyperthermia

I've long been attracted to certain protocols, but for some reason I've never acted on that resonance - until now. This week I started hyperthermia treatment. We've been indoctrinated to subdue a fever, particularly in children, but fever is the body's most innate healing resource. Bacteria, viruses and parasites all die off at lower temperatures than healthy cells. 

There have been recorded instances of cancer patients contracting chicken pox, experiencing high fever, and going into spontaneous remission. This happens via two mechanisms. The first being that fever encourages the immune system to burst into action. The second is that cancer cells are destabilised at higher temperatures, as are the delicate blood vessels which nourish them.

My cancer cells have down-regulated heat shock proteins (meaning that they are susceptible to damage from heat). This is good news for me. It's also bad news - I can't remember the last time I created a natural fever. Through chronic ill-health, my body has simply forgotten how to do it. Hence the reason that I was attracted to whole body hyperthermia. 

There are two types of hyperthermia. Local, which can work as a non-carcinogenic alternative to radiation therapy, and whole body, designed to mimic fever. I had local hyperthermia soon after surgery. It was a strange sensation, or rather no sensation, as it focussed on the area of my chest that's numb from nerve damage. As a result there's a danger of burning. Instead my clever body created a large amount of pus, a mass of local detoxification which my alternative doctor was delighted with!

I have a FAR infrared sauna at home, but whole body hyperthermia involves hotter temperatures for longer periods, and so involves careful monitoring. As a cancer protocol, it's rarely effective as a stand-alone treatment, and so I had simultaneous IV's of vitamin C and laetrile (more on this in another post). Whole body hyperthermia has been shown to improve the efficacy of chemotherapy and radiotherapy should you be considering a more allopathic protocol.

I approached treatment day with some trepidation. The aim is to reach a fever (ideally 40 degrees, but ultimately anything over and above the body's natural temperature of 37) hold it for at least one hour, and then gently come back down to normal temperature in a controlled way. This process can take up to 6 hours. 

Here's the drill: blood pressure taken (low to normal). IV catheter in (the nurse found a vein easily, hurrah, having had so many IV's this is not normal for me). Blood taken (Dr Trefza is trying some new cancer marker tests so that we can monitor any progress). Clothes and jewellery off (mildly embarrassing). Rectal thermometer/probe in (been in training for years with daily enemas - no big deal!) Heart rate monitor clipped onto my ear.  

Donna was assigned to my care. I was relieved to hear that she would stay with me for the duration.

How did it feel? In a word, HOT. I listened to a hypnotherapy CD, and tried to meditate. I focussed on my breathing, and on encouraging my body to heat up. The hotter I got, the less I could concentrate, or find words in my brain for affirmations. Donna asked if I wanted to hear what my temperature was as it rose. I did, finding it encouraging. I started off at 37.1 degrees (which I was pleased about, as most people with cancer have a low core temperature). She was surprised at how quickly I reached fever, and told me that she would know when it was time to turn the machine off by my heart rate and mood. Some people go very quiet, some sing, some get a bit crazy. I predicted I would be in the third group. It took just over an hour to reach 39.7 degrees, by which point I'd used the bedpan, and was pretty much taking full advantage of Donna, asking her to constantly douse my head in iced water and bring me drinks. At 39.8 I'd had enough. I felt sick, and the headache from hell kicked in. She unzipped the sauna and wrapped me in towels to maintain the fever. I was surprised at how long it took to cool back down to normal temperature, but this part was fine, and I slept. I was out and dressed within 3 hours.

Back at home and the best way to describe how I felt was 'not well'. My pee was incredibly acidic, indicating that toxins were moving. Nausea persisted for about 24 hours, and the headache only abated after 2 coffee enemas. I was really tired. I slept in a castor pack that night, to support my liver and I've done extra enemas and castor packs every day since.

There are suggestions that unless you reach a fever of 42 degrees (which would be really pushing it), you won't see results from this treatment. This heat would require sedation and careful monitoring. I understand that in Europe sedation is always given, however it's much more expensive than treatment in the UK (around £2000 as opposed to £300 plus IV's and blood tests, which I paid).

My conclusion: I feel great! The next treatment is booked! Depending on what the blood tests show, I'm planning on repeating every 4 weeks for a total of 4 treatments.

Retreat

Last weekend I set off for my first ever retreat. I needed some space to process my last test result, and I felt tired. I wanted someone to nurture me in a practical way. 

I drove to Amchara in Somerset for what I thought would be some intense navel gazing. As it turned out, I slept, and gratefully received meals, which were lovingly prepared, mostly raw, and did not require any cleaning up!!! I topped up on smoothies and juices, and drank a LOT of water. 

An unexpected pro, was that there was NO caffeine to be found on the retreat, not even my trusty green tea. Of course, I'd snuck a few cheeky teabags into my suitcase at the last minute (my addicted self must have had an inkling!) but when they ran out, I went cold turkey for the first time in my life. The upshot was a drilling headache for the entirety of the retreat, but one week down the line I'm the proud owner of a caffeine free body! As an adrenal person this is an incredibly positive thing. It's something I've THOUGHT about addressing many times without having the willpower to carry through. 

During my four days away I had hypnotherapy, Swedish body massage, Indian head massage and a very powerful Reiki session. I maintained daily coffee enemas, and tried a (successful) colonic irrigation. I practiced yoga, went for a run, and attempted Qi Gong. I laid in the sun, read the papers, watched (non-health related films) and.... slept. In the words of my hypnotherapist "You are feeling very relaxed, very lazy, no-body wants anything of you, and no-body expects anything of you". I reset myself, energetically and emotionally.

What I learned from this time in solitude, was not, of course, what I expected. There were no cancer revelations, just the understanding that my home life is more stressful than I really understood. That made me a bit sad. I love my life, I've worked hard to manifest what I desire. I love home educating, living where I live, doing what I do. But caring consciously for a family is intrinsically hard work. Switching off from that role, and being cared FOR, meant that I slipped easily into parasympathetic mode, where I was relaxed, and therefore able to heal. I didn't push myself, or punish myself, by attempting every class or activity, and I wasn't interested in juice fasting (although I absolutely believe there's a place for it). No, I wanted to be NOURISHED in every way. I asked for huge portions, savouring the salads, raw soups, kale chips and avocado cacao puddings.

I came away feeling that it's entirely possible to heal in a way that I had previously misunderstood, and I've managed to hold onto a new, more positive mindset. I realise that I'd been living with a lot of fear, and I'm now practicing my daily positive affirmations and visualisations with more clarity. I am in remission, I am well, and I am looking forward to my next retreat ;)

Test results part 2

My latest test results show the third consecutive increase in circulating cancer cells. This time all genetic markers for metastasis are switched on. 

This doesn't mean that I have metastases - it just means that my risk is higher. To put it into perspective, conventional tests would most likely still show No Evidence of Disease.

Initially I was in shock. Since the last test, 4 months ago, I've been on a very rigid vegan, sugar-free, low carb diet, certainly the strictest I've ever been. I'd started a new protocol including medicinal mushrooms, curcumin and flax oil on top of all of the usual supplements. I've been doing daily coffee enemas, juicing and smoothies. I've walked and moved more than ever before. I fully anticipated a reduced cell count. So much for expectation!

My usual knee jerk reaction would be to tighten up even more, but this time something new has happened. I've decided to stop pushing harder in what is starting to feel like self punishment. This has never been a battle, and I don't want it to start feeling like one.

I've sat in my fear, allowed it to wash over me, examined my anxiety about possible progression of disease, about death. 

My wise husband sat with me on night one, the night of tears and no sleep. He told me that I need to stop thinking about why I NEED to be here, and start thinking about why I WANT to be here. Love that! I seem to have set myself a remarkable list of obligations to remain earth bound. Home educating our kids is a huge responsibility, one which I feel I need to see through. Being a Mum is a 'thing' in itself. Leaving young children and the implications of that was not what I signed up for. But I'm not afraid of death, and the more I sit with these feelings, the more I understand that I can do my best, but I cannot force healing.

On day two I cleaned the house as a distraction. What occurred to me during my frenzy was that I have to LIVE until I die. Not just exist. Taste the sweetness of life. Enjoy food. Travel. Allow myself to look forward. Release expectation. 

On day three I started running. I realised that I've never used my body like this. It felt good. My lungs burned, legs ached. With every step I envisaged cancer cells exploding. I started to feel positivity returning. I felt closer to God, more connected. I started to trust that the universe has a plan for me. It may not be the plan I had for myself, but it's all OK.

In the meantime, normality has resumed. I have a loose plan. I'm going to repeat the Chemosensitivity test I had in 2011 to see how 'my' (I hate to own them, but I guess they are mine) cancer cells have changed, and which natural compounds might impact them, with a view to either reducing my count or reversing the (weakly) positive changes that have made them likely to metastasise. Targeted therapy seems sensible. Supplements are expensive. Taking as much guesswork out of the equation as possible makes sense. 

Until the renewed protocol reveals itself, I've vastly reduced my supplemental regime. I'm giving my liver a break. I'm enjoying nightly saunas and liver packs along with coffee enemas and positive visualisation. Today I enjoyed some dark chocolate - it never tasted so good! I'm still working towards balance. I'll let you know if I ever get there!

In what may seem like a counter-intuitive move, I've also decided to repeat the Minimal Residual Disease Test less often. Every test creates stress, and most results seem to invoke shock. Shock puts the body into fight or flight mode. In this state I'm not absorbing nutrients and I have no immune system! Acupuncture has been really helping me to reset, but it's a destructive cycle.

Fear is gone and this feels like a good place to start again from. My mind is strong, my body is becoming strong. It's all good. My best is good enough. I love myself and life is great. 

Teeth

The pile of books-to-read on my bedside table never seems to get any smaller! The latest one that I can't put down is 'Tooth Decay. Heal and Prevent Cavities with Nutrition' by Ramiel Nagel. It details the ways in which diet and nutrition can impact dental health. 

To paraphrase: Each tooth contains about 3 miles of microscopic tubes called dental tubules which are filled with a fluid similar to cerebral spinal fluid. Tubules also contain parts of tooth-growing cells, nerves and connective tissues. Microscopic droplets of nutrient-rich solution from our blood are pumped through these tubules. The hypothalamus stimulates the Parotid gland (located in the jaw) to release the movement of mineral rich dental lymph though the tubules to remineralise teeth. Are you ready for this? A diet heavy in SUGAR creates a blockage in this signalling process. 

So, we can heal cavities, and re-mineralise teeth naturally with a diet rich in phosphorous, Omega 3, and vitamins D3 and A? Potentially, yes! I'm not sure about you, but this is news to me. Again, I'm learning how inter-connected every part of our body is. The current reductionist medical paradigm has programmed us to believe that each body part works in isolation, and yet nothing could be further from the truth. When did we become so disconnected from our physicality, or from the simple truth that the food we eat is what nourishes us, allowing our bodies to function optimally?

Furthermore, we have been taught that it's OK to eat whatever we like, as long as we clean our teeth with (poisonous) fluoride, rinse with (carcinogenic) mouth wash, and fill cavities with (toxic) mercury.

Dental health is intrinsically linked to overall health. Dr Thomas Rau found a link between root canals in certain teeth and breast cancer. I've never had a root canal (and nor would I) but it makes perfect sense to me that as our teeth are connected to the body's meridians and blood system, so the decay or infection of a tooth could absolutely have an effect on a distant body part or organ. In less specific terms, bad tooth health impacts the body in a more general way by placing a heavy burden on the immune system.

So many illnesses are caused by heavy metal toxicity, mercury being the most prevalent, and indicated in Cancer, Autism, Motor Neurone Disease and Alzheimers to name but a few. This toxin is incredibly difficult for the body to process and excrete, resulting in much of it being stored in fatty tissues, like those of the brain. It's presence directly affects the central nervous system. Dental amalgams account for 90 percent of the body's mercury burden, but be aware, there are plenty of environmental sources of heavy metal toxicity which also need addressing. Sea food is a major culprit, and shockingly, mercury released from crematoriums also poses a problem! 

A couple of years ago I had two amalgams removed by a holistic dentist, and replaced with composites. It took me three years into my healing journey to feel physically strong enough to deal with any fallout, as removing mercury, and subsequent chelation, can liberate heavy metals which tax the body. Always look for a dentist who uses up to date removal techniques such as rubber dams, and ideally glutathione IV's. Following amalgam removal, I followed a strict protocol of chelation therapy, and I still take chlorella daily, which is a fantastic heavy metal detoxifier. Composites hold their own challenges for the body as many contain plastics, and leach xeno-oestrogens. I used kinesiology to test for the safest match for me. 

The body is programmed to heal itself. What happens when you cut yourself? An innate process unfolds. However, a poor diet, stress, or toxicity interferes with every process in the body, while a mineral rich diet, heavy in vitamins and live food can help to create the foundations for repair. 

Jess Ainscough

I'm so sad to hear of the passing of Jess Ainscough today. What a remarkable woman, who devoted herself to life, and in the process changed the lives of so many.

Undoubtedly there will be cruel words about her choices in the light of her death, and to that I say, don't judge. Dont Judge. Seriously, DONT JUDGE.

Why is there an expectation of 'alternative' medicine to fully cure or reverse cancer, yet conventional is deemed successful if a patient survives 5 years. 

No, we don't get to judge a person's choice. That she spread her gospel to thousands, that she supported others who had experienced a diagnosis, and that she lived her life fully awoken, these are all things to celebrate. None of us walked in her shoes. Whatever choices she made, deserve to be respected. We each get to choose which information to follow, which advice to adhere to. It's that simple. We each take responsibility for ourselves.

I'm so grateful to have known this woman, albeit on-line. She was gracious with her time and advice.

Even in death she has taught me something valuable, that it is possible to die in peace, surrounded by love, doing what you believe in. 

Cancer is just a lump - Get Over It!

A few months ago, I took my children to London. It was the usual lovely day out, dodging cancer propaganda. Nothing new about that, but on this particular day I decided to take a photo every time I saw the 'C' word. The pictures piled up quickly; on the back of the public loo door, on the tube, on full colour posters and on the front pages of newspapers and magazines. Cancer, cancer everywhere. The messages shouted, they screamed: let's run for the cure, bake cakes for it, let's fight it, beat it, pity and fear it. But let's not take responsibility for it. 

It's a wonder that anyone ever survives cancer with this much subliminal coaching. We're programmed to believe that we will not heal from cancer, that the best we can do is follow the oncologist's advice, that it's going to be a tough fight, a battle, and if we're brave, we might just live, albeit bald, weak and emaciated. This media manipulation is dangerous. It plants seeds of fear and doubt. 

Those reported to choose a different way of reversing disease are ridiculed. Magazine articles often include a 'disclaimer' (usually written by a doctor) suggesting that this person was 'lucky' or that they experienced a spontaneous remission. 

What if we saw posters which chided "Cancer is just a lump, get over it" or "Take responsibility for your cancer, you can heal"? How would these provocative slogans be received by a public who largely wants to hand over the reins for personal healing? Would these messages invoke hope as an antidote to our current fear based media?

What if we took it step further, and created a campaign which educated about the link between poor nutrition and disease? Would that empower or disempower? And would the sugar manufacturers, let alone the chemo-makers allow it?

I feel proud to be part of a growing voice, a global family who are reversing disease naturally, one day at a time, not (yet) 'proven' through double-blind peer reviewed studies by people who have never had cancer, (but are financially invested), rather by people who have looked their cancer straight in the eye, and made changes. One day I hope that our voice is loud enough to be heard without ridicule or disbelief, and that the many, MANY different strategies we're using become part of an easily accessible protocol for the newly diagnosed, who may understand that they have a choice in how to address their dis-ease.