tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53363490961506218192024-03-25T06:58:05.091-07:00growgrowing through cancer.Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-53756026722700997062023-11-22T01:44:00.000-08:002023-11-28T02:05:13.497-08:00Clean Beauty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Healing from chronic disease requires a multi-faceted approach and this must involve awareness of ingredients in the ‘beauty’ products we use daily; products which claim to make us look better, smell better, and even feel better, but which actually contain harmful chemicals that place a burden on the liver and its ability to detoxify. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How do these compounds enter the body? The skin is the second largest organ after the fascia, and acts as a barrier and a carrier. That is to say that whatever we put on the skin will be absorbed and ultimately taken to the liver to be processed before being eliminated.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">We can support the liver by mindfully reducing the burden we place upon it. A good practice is to count the products you use daily: soap, shampoo, conditioner, moisturiser, deodorant, makeup, toothpaste, perfume etc. Then ask yourself how can you reduce usage, swap to cleaner, non-toxic brands, or make your own. There are suggestions below, but first, let’s look at the most problematic ingredients.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>BPA. </b>Found in plastic packaging, the linings of cans and vacu-packs, BPA is a potent endocrine disruptor. Endocrine disruptors not only potently mimic hormones in the body but can also cause dysregulation of detoxification routes. This is particularly problematic with oestrogen, re-routing it down potentially damaging pathways which can have long term implications. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Fluoride.</b> Diet is a better way to protect the enamel of your teeth than ingesting fluoride, a potent neurotoxin and endocrine disruptor which can also negatively impact the thyroid gland. Be sure to eat a diet rich in vitamins A, D3, K2 as well as phosphorous and magnesium.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Formaldehyde.</b> This carcinogen is more prevalent than you might think, making an appearance in nail polish, hair straightening treatments and shampoo. It is particularly problematic in the lungs since it is a Volatile Organic Compound (VOC), a colourless gas which is inhaled. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Metals. </b>Aluminium is prevalent in anti-perspirants, blocking the pores and sabotaging the body’s natural ability to eliminate toxins via sweat. This is particularly problematic when you consider the proximity of the armpits to the fatty tissue of the breast; fat cells are a convenient place for the body to store toxins and chemicals if they cannot be excreted.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Parabens</b> are preservatives found in almost every product which contains water (to prevent the growth of bacteria and mould). These known endocrine disruptors strongly mimic oestrogen, binding to cell receptors and altering the delicate balance of detoxification metabolites. Parabens can also alter immune system function and negatively impact the nervous system. Sodium Benzoate is a preservative in the same class as parabens and is prevalent in the cosmetics industry making it hard to avoid. Look out for it in shampoos and conditioners. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Perfumes. </b>Fragrance in almost all cosmetic and beauty products is of chemical/synthetic origin. ‘Scents’ enter the body both via the skin and the respiratory system and as such are considered potentially damaging to the liver and the lungs. Avoid scented candles and air fresheners for the same reason.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Petroleum jelly. </b>This is a cheap by-product of the petrochemical industry. It is found in baby oil, lip balms, make-up and body washes. It impedes the skin from breathing and detoxifying efficiently.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Phthalates.</b> These ‘plasticizers’ are common ingredients in nail polish and hairsprays. They are also endocrine disruptors and have been linked to lung and liver damage. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Surfactants: </b>sodium lauryl sulphate (SLS and SLES) are foaming agents often found in shampoo, soap, bubble bath and toothpaste. Largely derived from the petroleum industry they are easily absorbed through the skin and residual levels are found to remain in the heart, liver, lungs and brain. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>Talc</b> is a cheap bulking ingredient (sometimes ‘naturally’ contaminated with asbestos) which has detrimental effects on the lungs. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">This is not an exhaustive list, and manufacturers are adept at altering names to avoid customer sanctions. It can be challenging to find genuinely clean products, and as such my advice is to reduce exposure to toxic ingredients where possible, whilst supporting detoxification routes in the body, specifically the colon, liver and kidneys. To begin with this can be as simple eating a diet rich in fibre, consuming bitter foods and brassica vegetables (arugula, bok choy, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cavolo nero, chard, and kale) whilst staying hydrated by drinking 1.5 litres of filtered water daily.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I have compiled a directory of tried and tested products which are as clean as possible. Companies who are mindful to avoid cheap, synthetic, toxic ingredients are generally more expensive, and so I have included some suggestions to ‘make your own’ where possible. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://odylique.co.uk/natural-organic-hair-products.html"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Odylique</span></a> for shampoo and conditioner made without synthetic colours, fragrances or preservatives. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://balmonds.co.uk/"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Balmonds </span></a>Natural shampoo which can also be used as a body wash.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>SOAP AND HANDWASH</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://shop.drbronner.co.uk/departments/pure-castile-liquid-soaps.aspx?deptid=PCLS"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Dr Bronner’s</span></a> All-one magic soap for body and hand wash and even cleaning your home. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.nealsyardremedies.com/">Neal’s Yard </a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>I recommend relaxing magnesium baths over perfumed, toxic bubble baths. Add 2-10 cups of magnesium chloride or sulphate to a warm bath, starting slowly and building up gradually. Buy 15 or 25 kilo bags on eBay. You can also add Celtic salt, warming essential oils like ginger and orange, and even dried or fresh petals for an at-home spa experience.</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzWksmW_WGcxAvAnMku-V1WI1dps9Zn3H4nhWQ37QjKupKJ2lhoranvESaypqFmuU7NsctRLXWZ0Wr6Nar2qipNjk25oGu3r8WRvzhllNzGcoOiW0Zuhz5klCyi6tkOxsq_lAq0J_YFn_0Y8tdsSjaH2iLc3MXYj0qlPO2aLkgKENOZktNMm_wDIMzawsJ" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzWksmW_WGcxAvAnMku-V1WI1dps9Zn3H4nhWQ37QjKupKJ2lhoranvESaypqFmuU7NsctRLXWZ0Wr6Nar2qipNjk25oGu3r8WRvzhllNzGcoOiW0Zuhz5klCyi6tkOxsq_lAq0J_YFn_0Y8tdsSjaH2iLc3MXYj0qlPO2aLkgKENOZktNMm_wDIMzawsJ=w400-h400" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>DEODORANTS</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.getfussy.com/"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Get Fussy</span></a> Bare All </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: arial;"><a href="https://naturaldeoco.com/all-products/">The Natural Deodorant Co</a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://odylique.co.uk/prebiotic-natural-unscented-deodorant/"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Odylique</span> </a>Prebiotic Natural Unscented Deodorant</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Or: make your own using bicarbonate of soda, coconut oil, shea butter, arrowroot and essential oils. </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhGy_vPrd-Ic3JYr0DF1TbiZM4DA40CPJLAqGvCM_M-bO06A4NuImKkct1r4ee27C9OpuTQ4EJHMiWHhgmagDnNVLNdJUHnFNkykCX02abARp_oxbh3j8fsZBrT77P63KMIwYBenaf-cuCckJ69_36gAEFmC6PxJLIlq31QTP-I306MHFIc2SHNNTGf2FMy" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="3032" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhGy_vPrd-Ic3JYr0DF1TbiZM4DA40CPJLAqGvCM_M-bO06A4NuImKkct1r4ee27C9OpuTQ4EJHMiWHhgmagDnNVLNdJUHnFNkykCX02abARp_oxbh3j8fsZBrT77P63KMIwYBenaf-cuCckJ69_36gAEFmC6PxJLIlq31QTP-I306MHFIc2SHNNTGf2FMy=w400-h398" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>SKINCARE</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://jurlique.co.uk/">Jurlique.</a> </span>Biodynamic. Organic. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://360botanics.com/">360 Botanics</a>.</span> Organic. Vegan. Cruelty free.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.nealsyardremedies.com/"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Neal’s Yard</span></a> Botanicals. Cruelty free. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://www.paiskincare.com/">Pai.</a> </span>Organic. Cruelty free.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.weleda.co.uk/?gclid=CjwKCAiA6byqBhAWEiwAnGCA4KNPuSd2PMqkW8fldPKqSInSBRgl7QYtQQkaMS3W1G-1g1wbxCGyMBoCPOIQAvD_BwE"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Weleda.</span></a> Organic. Cruelty free.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Or: make your own bespoke moisturisers using combinations of shea butter, castor oil, coconut oil, vitamin E oil, almond oil and cacao butter. </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Coconut oil and a hot flannel is the best way to remove make-up.. </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Witch hazel or rose water are good toners, or you can even use chamomile tea. </i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Bentonite clay masks are great for oily skin. Use avocado and honey masks for dry skin. Coffee grounds blended into coconut oil makes a wonderful face and body scrub.</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh9n7LLeYdf3tlNB-U9KTq2M2Bm16n-LoJB89b76hdLGLEuJrmTBqvsplr0gaH4YolK5w-WHV0xWQwboHEORPCsEb9jCzRZlGAyRGyZncp6zNrGBP6AiJcVu1rteppskU728XaYqiERwqssZ2wmfM4WlTECaMcEn6pFw8gXBskup5-d2URoXA5bewzdpDLn" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh9n7LLeYdf3tlNB-U9KTq2M2Bm16n-LoJB89b76hdLGLEuJrmTBqvsplr0gaH4YolK5w-WHV0xWQwboHEORPCsEb9jCzRZlGAyRGyZncp6zNrGBP6AiJcVu1rteppskU728XaYqiERwqssZ2wmfM4WlTECaMcEn6pFw8gXBskup5-d2URoXA5bewzdpDLn=w300-h400" width="300" /></a></div><br /><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>TOOTHPASTE</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://www.greenpeople.co.uk/products/fennel-propolis-toothpaste-50ml">Green People</a> </span>Fluoride free fennel and propolis.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.turmericandhoney.co.uk/product/dentalcidin-oral-microbiome-toothpaste-with-biocidin-90ml-biocidin-botanicals-s8040461664574?gclid=CjwKCAiAxreqBhAxEiwAfGfndCpVmbTG-GWgRvPgUH-KSWUXbRsKbV6vW2y0FHfIBBLX1Kn2Bo3auxoCQ24QAvD_BwE"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Dentalcidin Biocidin.</span></a> Expensive, but wonderful for removing biofilms in the mouth which can lead to tooth decay.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://lailalondon.com/products/herbal-toothpowder"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Laila</span></a> Remineralising tooth powder.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Or: make your own toothpaste using baking soda, coconut oil, spearmint essential oil and charcoal powder if desired. <a href="https://www.bobbyshealthyshop.co.uk/show-product-details.php?ID=738"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">3% food grade hydrogen peroxide</span></a> is the best mouthwash, or try coconut oil pulling.</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>MAKE-UP</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I recommend getting in touch with Imelda at <a href="https://www.contentbeautywellbeing.com/"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Content Beauty and Wellbeing</span></a> for sound information on the best non-toxic make-up brands. Some tried and tested favourites:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://www.drhauschka.co.uk/?gclid=CjwKCAiAxreqBhAxEiwAfGfndCi7qdQoWRjnY7YMJ1STNU6RfkaXivb8xtq5mGzO1HOJwfGoxRFcWBoC7G4QAvD_BwE">Dr Hauschka.</a> </span>Cruelty free. Largely organic.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://janeiredale.co.uk/"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Jane Iredale.</span> </a>Cruelty free. Vegan. Great non-toxic mascara.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://juicebeauty.co.uk/">Juice Beauty.</a> </span>Cruelty free. Not entirely vegan.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://uk.inikaorganic.com/collections/all?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAxreqBhAxEiwAfGfndMZ7XsO-4TJapJGRXhDwIwxuXt_nmUTVZeiWunVWzKBj5odwEqXJTRoC6o0QAvD_BwE"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Inika.</span></a> Cruelty free, vegan, organic.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://www.baldwins.co.uk/">Baldwins</a> </span>sells wonderful ingredients to make your own products, and they also sell the exquisite book ‘The handmade Apothecary’ by Vicky Chow and Kim Walker, which contains beautiful recipes to make your own beauty and self-care products. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjtG2BeOQmBYgpeWNW4HvdsuYUBUt2sNNM4HZLO9ez8K-NGljbKJ3DVBOy7OnIM_whcsaQPKZs9bMb_GPpAiwNLZ86Ws6JsaTWYFsDc8g6wDP_ZE6ML0NbUPnoCT2pIOhHm_v9w6w-1gdlFGKBF0DTnyJaOCo7YKN9yLM8wCFx9xrHGUO0dWkqq_xVJroWa" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2926" data-original-width="2926" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjtG2BeOQmBYgpeWNW4HvdsuYUBUt2sNNM4HZLO9ez8K-NGljbKJ3DVBOy7OnIM_whcsaQPKZs9bMb_GPpAiwNLZ86Ws6JsaTWYFsDc8g6wDP_ZE6ML0NbUPnoCT2pIOhHm_v9w6w-1gdlFGKBF0DTnyJaOCo7YKN9yLM8wCFx9xrHGUO0dWkqq_xVJroWa=w400-h400" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">For more information and recipes for home-made calendula oil and coffee scrub, you can download my free ‘Skin’ booklet <span style="color: #2b00fe;"><a href="https://www.nourishandgrow.love/product-page/free-digital-skin-download">here</a>. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I would love to hear of your favourite clean brands. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><p></p>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-56391731717461118182023-09-12T07:22:00.002-07:002023-09-12T10:32:57.119-07:00Survival Mode<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Last weekend a question from my children about fear and the body provoked some thoughts about survival mode. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">For the first time in my life, I clearly saw five 'life-shocks' (in the words of the late, great Sophie Sabbage) each of which altered my world view, and have kept me largely in a state of survival for the past 24 years.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The first: 1999. An unprovoked attack on a London street, 3 minutes from my home in broad daylight. A broken cheekbone from the first punch, a chipped tooth from the second. I urinated in fear as the third punch threw me into the road on my back. Until this moment, with three brothers, I had always believed I could fight or talk my way out of an aggression. But this was not play-fighting. Naturally, it left me feeling scared and impotent. It changed the way I lived in the world for a very long time, unable to make eye contact with strangers, unable to trust that I was safe. I sensed that someone could exert power over me at any moment and not only would I be unable to defend myself, but that no-one would come to my rescue or protect me. I mistakenly learned to release an expectation of safety.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The second life altering event was learning that my husband and I would not be able to conceive naturally. By the time we discovered his infertility, we had been trying to get pregnant for over a year and I was crazed and myopic. Our choices were to use a sperm donor, adopt or stop. My body was screaming to carry a baby, and so we chose a donor. A donor who was the same height and skin colour as my husband. Who also had Irish heritage, brown hair and blue eyes, a love of music. But who was not my husband. The grief at not being able to carry the biological baby of the man I loved was immense. I learned to let go of the expectations that I had subconsciously carried since I was a child: that parenthood was somehow a right.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The third event was my own cancer diagnosis, which I have written about many times. I learned about the uncertainty of life and to release the expectation of health. I learned to understand mortality which is the biggest gift a life-altering event can bestow. It teaches us to live, to really live. It sparked a joy for reconnecting with nature, a move to the country and home education of my children. The lesson was clear: don't wait, don't endure. Grasp life with all of the colour it offers and live it daily.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The fourth event came nine months later. My 7 year old son, a week into September, fresh from the summer but his lungs full of grief about my own health, told me he had "little room to breathe". Doctors dismissed him, but within days he was on a life support machine, having been bluelighted across London connected to makeshift breathing apparatus. His recovery was slow, even after extubation and I would not wish the horror of those few weeks on any parent. I barely functioned during that period. Noises came from my body that were animalistic at best. The pain was indescribable and the fear was consuming.</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> I </span><span style="font-family: arial;">learned not even to take breathing for granted.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The final event: two and half years ago, my husband, my best friend of 27 years, told me he no longer loved me and left. It was sudden, unexpected and triggered feelings of abandonment. The voyage of self-discovery over the past 29 months has been nothing less than epic. I have transitioned to yet another new identity, no longer someone's lover, wife or partner. Although I thought I had done this work, I am still learning to lean in to loving myself, wholly, without apology. I have learned to let go of the expectations of relying on another, instead understanding that I am whole. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Each of these five events was a shock. These shocks send the body into <i>sympathetic nervous system</i> dominance: fight or flight mode. In this mode we do not need to digest food. We do not need to have a well functioning immune system. We do not need balanced hormones. Because the body is programmed to survive above all else, and from this place we need nothing more than cortisol, adrenaline and elevated blood sugar. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In my practice I see many people who are stuck in this place of survival. It leads to leaky gut, autoimmune conditions, fibromyalgia, blood sugar dysregulation, irritable bowel syndrome, flatlining cortisol. And the root cause is stress. Chronic, prolonged stress which feeds back to the body that we are not safe. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">What is the takeaway from this blog post? Life happens. We will inevitably experience pain, loss, ill-health, fear or rejection. The question is, how can we care for ourselves and promote health at times of great change? How can we reassure the physical body when we experience intense stress? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I firmly believe that love is the antidote. Not love from another, but love for self. Self-love involves reassuring the body, mind and soul that we are safe. This calms the central nervous system and supports the switch from sympathetic dominant to <i>para-sympathetic</i> dominant, i.e. moving from fight or flight to rest and digest. The fastest way to do this is conscious breathing. The body senses that it cannot be under fire if we are breathing deeply. Drop your shoulders. Breathe in deeply and slowly through the nose deep down into the abdomen for the count of 7. Hold that breath with ease, and then breathe out through pursed lips for the count of 9. Take a short pause between breaths and repeat at least 10 times. Observe your body throughout the day. Are shoulders raised? Are you taking short, shallow breaths which signal fear and unsafety to the body? If so, take a moment and realign with meaningful breath.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It is also helpful to practice the mantra of safety: simply repeat to yourself, "I am safe". Meditation and gentle massage are also beneficial here.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Sit down to eat. Chew slowly. Take your time. There is time. You are safe. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Energy work can help to realign the body very quickly back to rest and digest: reiki, acupuncture and cranio-sacral therapies can support astounding shifts.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Lastly, awareness is everything. Become aware of thoughts and words which shape the way you live in the world. What is your inner narrative? Process stress as it comes, allowing it to move through the body in a healthy way. Shaking the body can be very helpful in shifting the biochemistry of stress.</span></p>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-11093161045169388032023-01-19T11:48:00.000-08:002023-01-19T11:48:39.270-08:00The basics<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Someone recently asked me if there is one thing that I recommend to all of my clients to support good health. This is an interesting question because if we consider that there are 8 billion people, with trillions of possible genetic variations, in a wide variety of environments, making each of us unique then it is clear that there cannot be a 'one size fits all' answer. However, there are some common recommendations that I make for wellness, and these are in essence the basis of my workshops.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">All bodies have evolved to survive. To thrive. To heal. Our internal systems work tirelessly to anabolise and catabolise: simple biological processes which synthesise and break down molecules in an effort to create cellular energy. </span><span style="font-family: arial;">The molecules that we breathe, eat, drink and put on our skin are </span><span style="font-family: arial;">processed, metabolised and detoxified in an elegant cycle. Certain things</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> slow the efficiency of these processes. I would largely break these down into: </span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Poor diet (low nutrient status)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Lack of exercise (low oxygen status)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Inability to manage stress (including lack of purpose, passion and joy)</span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Environmental toxins (including pharmaceutical and recreational drugs)</span></li></ul><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">So, going back to the original question, how can we broadly support health? </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>POOR DIET</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Good health is undeniably reliant on a strong and diverse microbiome - an internal ecosystem made up of trillions of microbes. Each area of the body has its own subset of beneficial bacteria which work </span><i style="font-family: arial;">for</i><span style="font-family: arial;"> us, digesting food, balancing cholesterol, regulating irons levels, synthesising vitamins, moderating tissue pH, manufacturing hormones and more. These microbes respond to the body's internal terrain. When we feed them, they thrive, therefore we thrive. They love fibre, so eating an <i>unprocessed</i> diet rich in seasonal vegetables and local fruit, plus nuts, seeds and pulses is beneficial. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Beyond the microbiome, a rainbow coloured diet provides us with a multitude of vitamins, minerals and nutraceuticals - compounds which support all body functions. This is unsurprising when you consider that we have evolved alongside our food sources. For example berries are rich in polyphenols which can modulate the intestinal microbiota, support heart health, improve hormonal detoxification and more. Apply this nature-magic to a broad spectrum of wholefoods and you have a natural medicine cabinet on your plate, but without negative side effects. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Hydration is crucial for good health since our cells require water to communicate, transport nutrients and detoxify</span><span style="font-family: arial;">. In the west particularly, we have been intoxicated by energy drinks, sugary smoothies, tea and coffee: anything but pure water. Consistent hydration brings clarity and energy, but for this to occur many of us need to relearn the thirst response. An easy tip is to set an hourly alarm throughout the day, drinking 8oz of clean water each time it goes off. Observe how you feel after a week - are headaches diminished? Do you feel less bloated? Are you sleeping better? I recommend getting a good filter to avoid common toxins; fluoride, chlorine, hormones, pharmaceuticals and microbes. I love my Aquasana whole house water filter, but Berkey countertop filters are also great for purifying drinking water. Adding a pinch of sea salt, the juice of half a lemon and 1/4 teaspoon of cream of tartar to the first glass of water on waking delivers electrolytes, expediting cellular hydration.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>LACK OF EXERCISE</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">An oxygenated body is a healthy body. A daily exercise practice which increases heart rate and leaves you out of breath</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> for 25 minutes</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> will oxygenate the cells, move blood and lymph and improve heart health. Ideally some resistance training is strengthening for bones, particularly as we age. I recommend exercising in nature, since sunshine supports the production of endorphins, those happy hormones which help us to cope with stress. We have evolved within the natural biome - it feeds us in invisible ways from beneficial negative ions to commensal (helpful) bacteria. </span></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;"><br /></b></p><p><b style="font-family: arial;">CHRONIC STRESS</b></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When supporting clients with cancer or other chronic illnesses, I often start by asking if there is joy and purpose. Why do you want to live? This simple question is fundamental to healing, particularly from diseases which have the potential to highlight our mortality. When we sink into joy, laugh freely, allow love and follow passions, the body heals. If we examine this from a chemical perspective we see that joy is the antidote to stress. Happiness hormones lower inflammation and counter the production of those stress hormones which would seek to keep us alive short term, but in doing so impair digestion, immune response and hormone balance. Become aware of your stress triggers and the language you use around them. </span><span style="font-family: arial;">Managing stress can be as simple as starting a daily mindful breathing practice; concentrating on inhaling deeply through the nose into the diaphragm and slowly exhaling through the mouth.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>TOXINS</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When it comes to environmental toxins the best thing we can do is reduce burden. Read labels and avoid known toxins in beauty products: phthalates, parabens and BPA to name a few. Choose natural products without aluminium or microplastics. Think about your exposure to chemicals in the home and garden; paint fumes, cleaning and gardening products. Choose paints with low VOCs (volatile organic compounds) like Little Greene's water based products. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With regards to pharmaceuticals I certainly never recommend stopping cold turkey, but it IS important to look at root cause: why have you been prescribed long-term medication and how could this be impacting your overall health? PPIs (proton pump inhibitors) for example lower hydrochloric acid in the gut which can have far-reaching negative downstream effects. Addressing ill-health by looking at root cause often means that we can reduce or even stop taking pharmaceuticals.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Directly supporting the liver, our main organ of detoxification, is wise. Reducing sugar is one of the first things I regularly recommend since refined sugar consumption over time leads to fatty liver, diminishing this vital organ's ability to detoxify the body from chemicals, hormones, heavy metals, histamine, alcohol and drugs. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Beyond these things, I believe that the fastest route to health is to become reacquainted with your own body. As children we learn to respond to a full bladder or bowel; we understand when we are hungry or need to sleep. As adults we have not learned to interpret more subtle cues which indicate a physical need. We often seek the dopamine hit of caffeine or sugar rather than honestly acknowledging the body's requests for nutrients or rest.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Re-learning the language of the body is a beautiful thing, and all you need to do is tune in and trust yourself: how do you feel when you eat gluten, </span><span style="font-family: arial;">dairy, or sugar? How about after alcohol or stimulants? Do you have cravings? What is your body asking for, and why? Do you notice changes in the way your body odour? Do you know how to rest and stop? </span><span style="font-family: arial;">Reconnecting with the body brings an ability to support the physical alongside the mental and emotional aspects of living. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">If this information feels overwhelming, naturopaths, nutritional therapists or functional doctors can guide you in this re-learning and responding to the signs and symptoms from your unique body.</span></p><p><br /></p>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-63521575518420161402022-10-04T05:19:00.000-07:002022-10-04T05:19:09.901-07:00Healing the cycle.<p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's fantastic that it is menopause awareness month. We absolutely should be talking about the discomfort that many of us experience at this time of life. However, I strongly feel that the discussion needs to be extended to include painful periods, particularly for teens. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Let's go back to where I believe it all began for me. I had horrific periods. I was 15 when I started to menstruate and suffered monthly until I was misguidedly put on the pill at around 16 years of age. I would pass out in pain, blue lipped, tightly gripped. At a loss as to how to help me, my Mum, as was normal, put her faith in our family doctor. Trained in Western allopathic practice, he sought not the root cause of this abnormal pain, but instead snuffed out the symptoms which were screaming of imbalance with pharmaceuticals in the form of the contraceptive pill.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The pill can be helpful in improving period pain because it thins the womb lining and reduces the levels of inflammatory prostaglandins (hormone-like compounds which have many jobs, one of which is stimulating muscle contractions). This means that your body needs to work less hard to shed the womb lining - ie fewer cramps. However, t</span><span style="font-family: arial;">he pill is problematic for many. In 1985, as is still common today, it was made of synthetic components which mimic oestrogen and progesterone. They sit on the same cell receptor sites as our own endogenous hormones, but since they do not have the same chemical structure, they are not broken down with the same efficacy, or down the same healthy pathways.Synthetic oestrogen is many times more potent than natural and can stay in the body for weeks vs the few hours that it takes to metabolise body-made hormones. This creates or exacerbates a state of oestrogen dominance, which can, when taken to it's unnatural conclusion, cause hormone sensitive cancers. These synthetic compounds also block vitamins B, C and E, zinc, selenium and magnesium; all vital in supporting the roles of detoxification, fertility, gut and immune health. And cancer prevention. The pill can negatively impact the liver (causing impeded detoxification, high cholesterol and systemic inflammation), the thyroid (oestrogen dominance can hinder the necessary conversion of thyroid hormones in the liver, whilst encouraging too many thyroid binding proteins, preventing thyroid hormones from getting into the cell) and the brain (studies have shown that the pill can cause significant structural changes in areas of the brain associated with memory and emotional processing). Beyond this the contraceptive pill can alter the delicate microbial balance of the gut, specifically the oestrobolome: the subset of beneficial bacteria which helps to metabolise and balance our systemic oestrogen. All drugs cause some level of side effects because they interfere with the intricate communication and feedback loops in our incredible bodies. But few drugs are taken so hastily and for such a long time as the contraceptive pill.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The pill stopped my pain, sure. But at what cost? I stayed on it for around 17 years, terrified of those agonising periods which stopped my world on a monthly basis. It was only truly in childbirth that I understood how abnormal my suffering was. I cruised to 7 cm dilation, abnormally comfortable at the intensity of that pain; my periods were like mini monthly labours. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After I had had my babies, the pain returned. Crippling pain that stopped me driving, or moving, and a flow that stopped me sitting on other people's pale sofas during my period. It was only after my cancer diagnosis, when I began to explore the role of hormones in my illness, that I understood that I had suffered from oestrogen dominance my entire life. I learned that I have slow MTHFR and COMT genes. Essentially this translates to having an increased need for bio-available B vitamins to complete certain biological functions. I break oestrogen down slowly, leading to an imbalance in the 'grow' hormone compared to it's counter 'slow' progesterone.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I firmly believe, that even with my genetic propensity to break oestrogen down slowly, I would not have experienced crippling period pain had I been born in a different era. The burden from xeno-oestrogens (prevalent in make-up, self care products and household chemicals) would have been significantly less. Magnesium levels (needed for optimal muscle contraction) would have been higher in my diet due to greater amounts available in the soil that my food was grown in. Food would have contained less refined sugar and 'bad' oils, and I would have had less exposure to plastic - a potent hormone mimicker and disruptor.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">There are natural ways to reduce pain, and in my practice these are all based on removing the root cause and supporting the natural balance of the body. One of the real issues I see in practice is that painful periods are often familial - that is to say that if you suffer from pain, your mother likely suffered, and your child may also suffer, normalising the experience. </span><span style="font-family: arial;">And so to my message. If you are a young person experiencing debilitating monthly pain when you menstruate, or if you are the parent of a young person who suffers, know this: this is your body conversing with you in all of its wisdom. It is telling you that there is toxicity (too much of something) or deficiency (too little of what the body needs). Learn the language of your symptoms. What is the message? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I believe, because I have seen, that it is entirely possible to experience gentle periods. Often it is simply a case of changing the diet, taking some gentle, natural supplements, supporting the liver and becoming more aware of environmental toxins. Sugar and 'bad' fats for example, increase our production of those inflammatory prostaglandins. Stress burns through our magnesium stores. If we show our children how to support and heed their bodies, there is every chance that they will sail through menopause when their time comes. </span></p>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-55089330755652924442022-04-07T06:47:00.004-07:002022-04-07T06:48:07.200-07:00Naturopathic Health<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="fcj7-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fcj7-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="fcj7-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">I'm excited to be working as a naturopath. It feels wonderful to be able to share what I have learned over the past 12 years with others in a tangible way. I believe that healing is simpler than we may have been lead to believe. I am seeing strong patterns in the people I am working with. Unsurprisingly the gut plays a foundational role, as do diet and lifestyle. Which begs me to ask the question; do you ever feel that you are the one sabotaging your health? </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="3inm5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3inm5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="3inm5-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="cbcd8-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cbcd8-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="cbcd8-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">This blog is a shout out to my amazing 18 year old son who was once crippled by OCD and ended up on a life support machine aged 7 because his body couldn't cope with a respiratory virus. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="beebe-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="beebe-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="beebe-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="32mb4-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="32mb4-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="32mb4-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">He has guided me in my own health journey as we have discovered his intolerances to gluten (makes him feel emotional, edgy and adrenal) and dairy (he loses his sense of smell and feels generally mucousy). He self regulates because he knows how those foods make him feel. He happily supplements with certain vitamins and minerals because they support his central nervous system, well, his whole system.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="bm6ld-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bm6ld-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="bm6ld-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="e9hat-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="e9hat-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="e9hat-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">He is sensitive to drugs, clearing them slowly, so we weaned him off the steroids and asthma medication that he was given after his near-death experience, instead focusing on a varied, organic, seasonal diet, clean water and clean body products: basically a nutrient-rich, low-toxin lifestyle. Moving to the countryside helped enormously - he never suited city living. Home education saved him in other ways - he got to explore his passions and go at his own pace. We massively reduced his stress burden which is paramount in healing.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="5ks6s-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5ks6s-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="5ks6s-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">As a result he is no longer governed by OCD, recovers from colds faster than anyone I know and is a gregarious seeker of fun; an extrovert with enormous confidence. A sensitive, intelligent and wise child, he has reached adulthood intact and is fully living his potential. This could have been a very different story. </span></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br /></span></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;">Each of us have unique genetic propensities which are directly guided by the environments we create for ourselves, both internally and externally; how we respond to stress, what we eat, what we put on and in our bodies. Each of us have a different path to health and yet s<span style="font-family: inherit;">o many of us unknowingly continue to live in ways that are unsustainable. What are these diet and lifestyle health obstacles? Processed foods, limited and restricted nutrient-poor diets, stress and toxic beauty products are all sabotage the body's natural balance. They make our livers work harder and they tax our guts. The downstream effect is one of toxicity and deficiency; the hallmarks of chronic disease. The body will communicate any imbalance to us. First it will whisper with pain, bloating, fatigue, dry skin and nails or insomnia. Unheard it will speak more loudly with auto-immune illnesses like allergies, hypothyroidism, kidney stones or gall bladder issues. Finally it will scream with life-threatening diseases like diabetes, heart disease and cancer. </span></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br /></span></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="3lahv-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;">When we learn the language of the body we are able to hear its messages and respond by supporting its immense efforts at maintaining balance. With this rebalancing comes energy and a lust for life. </span>Health is not the absence of illness - it is about feeling vibrant, potent and happy. </div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="dnj7v-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dnj7v-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><span data-offset-key="dnj7v-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; font-family: inherit; transition-property: none !important;"><br data-text="true" style="animation-name: none !important; transition-property: none !important;" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="nclb" data-offset-key="etqcd-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "system-ui", ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; transition-property: none !important; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="etqcd-0-0" style="animation-name: none !important; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; transition-property: none !important;"><br /></div></div>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-15672007242591747382021-08-30T04:26:00.005-07:002021-11-01T02:44:40.157-07:00Permission<p><span style="font-family: arial;">What happens if we surrender to our current situation, giving ourselves permission to be and feel, unconstrained by societal expectations of succeeding, healing or even coping. What if we stop striving and permit ourselves to feel sad, overwhelmed or ill, heeding the body's call to acknowledge legitimate feelings as a means to process them.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">What if we radically accept ourselves in whatever form we take in whichever moment. Even if that is old, tired or grey. What if society and economics has it wrong and we are still valid, vibrant and beautiful in all of our states, young, old, unemployed, infertile.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">What if we reframe? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Illness as an opportunity to rest and reassess lifestyle choices.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Tiredness as a call to stop.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Grief as a time to process.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Age as a blessing, one of wisdom and beauty. Wrinkles finely woven into the tapestries of the skin as visible etchings of emotions well explored: a life experienced in all of it's forms. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">What if everything is OK. All feelings are OK. Understanding that it is appropriate to feel and express anger or sorrow. And what if we teach the next generation not to swallow their pride, dry their tears and curb their anger. What if we encourage healthy expression and acknowledgement of the full range of human emotion?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">These feelings serve us - and yet we have compartmentalised them into categories of acceptable and unacceptable, good and bad. If we want to suppress, succumbing to the body's internalised rage later, then this is surely the way to go. If however we are prepared to sit in the fury, the disappointment, the gut wrenching pain as well as the joy, the relief, the vibrancy, then what? We begin to process life as it happens, experience it in technicolour. Our sentient bandwidths, our capacities, grow. The lows may be lower but the highs are higher. We become blessed to feel EVERYTHING. We stop numbing, suppressing and repressing feelings which we have named as unhelpful, impolite, ugly and painful. What a gift this is to access and express the full range of emotion - of energy in motion. And we have a CHOICE. We can CHOOSE to feel but it takes courage. To sit in the uncomfortable. To weep, shake, rock, and wail. To feel humbled and brought to our knees. To face the fear of loss or abandonment. Brandon bays teaches, as do many others, that if we sit with our feelings for long enough we will come always to a place of love; a blinding, all-encompassing love which holds us and releases us from fear. Which brings faith, strength and calm. And what if we can only access this place of bliss on Earth by allowing and exploring ALL of those other emotions?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I have become acutely aware of my knee-jerk response to deny certain feelings, the overwhelm they bring, the desire to numb them out, drown them out, suppress them, shut them down, shut them up, turn to alcohol, loud music, mindless television in an effort to shhhhh, quieten, ignore these angry and hurt children that reside within and want nothing more than to be seen, heard and comforted. I am starting to sit quietly and listen. Awareness is everything and when we truly tune in, we begin to understand the damaging stories we tell ourselves when an uncomfortable emotion tears through the rolodex, pulling up filed beliefs which we have created to protect us from trauma. Quietly and without judgment I am becoming able to tell myself it's OK. It's OK to feel this way, to challenge my belief system and to let go of limiting ideas about what this emotion is teaching me. Choosing not to sink into those comfortable, subconscious grooves of association is where liberation lies. Instead, healing comes from quietly trusting, surrendering, allowing, listening, believing and loving the self unconditionally. Without doubt it is one of the most challenging life lessons I have invited. But change is coming fast; within and without. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This form of healing is every bit as important as juicing, daily coffee enemas, healthy eating and exercise. I would go as far as to say that this is the real healing. Lately when I meditate I can actually feel my cells cleansing; my microbiome shifting; my energy field growing. It's exciting and a not a little scary - a new me, a transition, shedding old, redundant beliefs about who I am. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">We are here to experience not achieve. Let's immerse ourselves fully into the opportunity of life. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-48073497605402962092021-08-08T07:39:00.004-07:002021-08-08T08:34:24.711-07:00Boundaries<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Many speak of the cancer person's need to please others. Gabor Mate says these are "</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial;">people who don't know how to say no, people who are rigid and compulsive, perfectionistic, expecting themselves to be perfect in everything, people who don't know how to express their experience of anger in a healthy way, people who compulsively and automatically take care of others and don't think of their own needs." This resonates for me. I believe that this inability to create healthy boundaries is a self protection mechanism and comes from a place of a lack of self worth and/or self love. Even Mate says that his response to a world in which he felt unwanted was to create for himself a role of being needed. </span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Our behavioural patterns are entrenched in ways which we <i>believe</i> will keep us safe, loved and wanted. This can mean putting the needs of others first in an attempt to feel valued. For me it translates to a lack of boundaries, co-dependance and an inability to advocate for myself. I acknowledge that this had value at some point in my life but it is time to reassess these deep and comfortable grooves which no longer serve me. </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: arial;">There is yet a new way of being. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Luckily my kids are adept at boundaries - lord knows where they learned this skill, but I am grateful that they are prepared to teach me. I listen in awe as they thoughtfully and gently tell me 'no'. And I am amazed that although initially the surprise of it hurts, ultimately it increases my respect and admiration for them. It excites me.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpAa6fKGEbm9-ZVYBuUTTx2dXQdBw2NSqbNrut3MjtVIPUHySpVZfSerdW6G9-igpA0rmsFUrjv9zg_y41hDPVQfp62mDbHu103wT0RfGVPXqZfaPOjR870F5l9JHAeX4-HWjyobEtI5YF/s950/B2B1AF4B-8238-4497-902F-08CAC567B807.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="713" data-original-width="950" height="395" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpAa6fKGEbm9-ZVYBuUTTx2dXQdBw2NSqbNrut3MjtVIPUHySpVZfSerdW6G9-igpA0rmsFUrjv9zg_y41hDPVQfp62mDbHu103wT0RfGVPXqZfaPOjR870F5l9JHAeX4-HWjyobEtI5YF/w527-h395/B2B1AF4B-8238-4497-902F-08CAC567B807.jpg" width="527" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Beyond my children, the sea is my teacher. Shortly after the breakdown of my marriage I started cold water swimming. Sea swimming in early May in the UK is a revelation. As someone who has previously rejected the pebbly shores of the East Sussex coastline, hankering instead for hot white sandy beaches of Australia, Thailand, Cuba, Mexico, hell, anywhere but here, sea swimming is teaching me lessons in presence, grounding and gratitude that I didn't know I needed. The sea holds me, shocks me, rocks me. I can have no expectations of her. She will be what she is and I will love her for it. At a time when I feel far from <i>unconditionally</i> loved, this is a gentle reminder that we can be whatever we are and still be loveable. Regardless of whether her tides are calm or wild she embraces me, defibrillating me back into my body like nothing else. With every swim she connects me to this planet in a way that reminds me that I am home. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">My first photos of the sea after I had begun this new habit of immersion reflected my confusion. They were stark, ugly, unromantic. But slowly, slowly they are revealing that I am falling in love. My lens has changed. I am fascinated by the pebbles and their geological secrets. I am learning the vocabulary of the sea, revelling in floating in the slack, the fret and the spume. The ocean is revealing her treasure along the strand line: sharks purses, hag stones and sea glass. I am learning about the brine loving plants that inhabit the shoreline and am doing regular beach cleans in gratitude. The sea is always there, but she is not always approachable. Sometimes her ferocity would hurt me. She reminds me of my boundaries - that I am responsible for keeping myself safe. And that is the purpose of healthy boundaries. They protect us. They allow us to go as far as we feel able to. And they are ours. No-one can impose them upon us. And they must be respected.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I feel stronger, leaner and healthier for this new habit, and it has surprising health benefits. Cold water therapy, as purported by the incredible 'Ice Man' Wim Hof, can improve circulation, stimulate the immune system, reduce chronic inflammation and even help to support metabolism through an increase in brown fat, which helps to regulate thyroid hormones. I am planning to gently wean off my thyroid supplements which are expensive and unethical.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A surprisingly beautiful side effect of cold water swimming has been finding a community of women. Women who rescue me figuratively and literally. Who listen and make me laugh. Who are equally held by the sea. I am healing and growing more resilient one swim at a time - learning about boundaries is a beautiful side effect.</span></p>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-1773840973388128992021-04-30T01:24:00.002-07:002021-04-30T01:27:29.664-07:00Depression and the end of an era<p><span style="font-family: arial;">It has taken me 50 years to recognise depression. It's something that I have encountered a few times but have always misunderstood, panicking that I am falling behind, confused at the ease in which everyone else seems to be navigating life. I have mistaken depression for 'not good enough' and for envy and jealousy. Now I see clearly that it is time for me to really bring awareness to these feelings. To allow them, exam and honour them. To support myself knowing that this is not who I am, but rather a way that I am feeling right now. It seems to me, in hindsight, that in those times when I felt out of control and impotent, depression was possibly very appropriate. Because what if the purpose of depression is indeed to slow down and process where we are in life? What if depression is our higher selves calling for 'more' or 'different', alerting us to the fact that we are off course and we are ignoring that something doesn't feel right?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With my kids I am good at pressing pause to explore the 'big stuff' as it happens, be it illness, death, puberty or grief. All major experiences bring profound opportunities to grow, to become self aware and to gain access to a tool kit that will serve us throughout life. Burying feelings creates problems later on. Dealing with feelings as they arise is much more painful and uncomfortable, but builds a strong foundation of resilience and emotional intelligence. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I find myself in exactly such a time of great opportunity as my relationship of 27 years falls away. All of my feelings of being unloved and unloveable, of abandonment and failure have come crashing down around me. I am entering a new phase of coming into my own power. Of seeing my own patterns and responses more clearly. Of being aware of the way this emotional stress is making me feel physically - I am flooded with cortisol, my pulse is electric. I feel coiled and ready to jump.I cannot continue to create such anxiety in my physical or emotional bodies. Already I am finding calm. I am trusting that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am finding compassion, for myself and for my husband. I am processing through shaking, laughing, crying, journalling, talking, hugging and dancing. When it comes up, I allow it and I fully go there. And 'there' is often a lonely, scared and disappointed place. But what a luxury. Again I am reminded that we only have this moment. This moment is a blessing and a safe place. All is well here, now. Now is not always 'perfect'. Now is not always 'trying'. Now is whatever now is, and that is liberating. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I have been doing this work in earnest since my cancer diagnosis, but as for so many it is the end of a marriage which brings some of the biggest challenges and the greatest growth. I am hopeful that this healing of old wounds, this melting of self doubt, will bring about my ultimate healing. Cancer developed within my marriage - not because of my relationship but because of the ways I have responded and reacted within it. I have always had a nagging sense that I would need to remove myself from this relationship to close the last page on my cancer story, but I am devoted to commitment. In a lifetime of huge lessons, this is probably one of the hardest I have faced - observing and addressing my own heartbreak, fear, loneliness and shame. Acknowledging needs unmet and my own complicity.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It is no coincidence that I have just discovered that I have a cyst on my ovary. Ovaries represent the seat of creative expression. Louise Hay speaks of ovarian cysts as the re-running of old stories that no longer serve us. In 2021, the year I dubbed 'the year of letting go' I am letting go of these old stories and beliefs - they were the traits of a person who existed yesterday. This feels like a HUGE opportunity to grow and discard. Discarding cancer, feelings of being 'not good enough' and 'too much.' I am a big believer in manifestation and so I look now at what I DO want rather than what I DON'T. I am learning to self soothe. I am watching my language around guilt and 'trying'. I am taking responsibility. I am growing up. I feel excited and broken hearted, bewildered and joyful, discarded and liberated. And sometimes I feel bitter, toxic and tired. How beautiful it is to be able to feel. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I am realising that at times of great stress I reach for crutches - coffee, chocolate, alcohol. Drugs to numb or elevate when the feelings threaten to overwhelm. These drugs deplete magnesium, as does stress. Magnesium helps us to relax. I'm increasing my daily dose of this important mineral in malate form. Low B vitamins are implicated in depression, as we burn through our finite resources faster when stressed. B6 in the form of P5P can help to build the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine and GABA. I am taking hawthorn for a broken heart and ignatia for grief. Lemon balm calms my central nervous system. I am looking at my health more holistically - my usual go to is attending to what I put IN my body, but now it's time to pull focus and healthily immerse my whole self in joy. The sea is calling as are new friends and my fledgling business. I am seeking words that resonate and am taking them deep into my soul. My soul knows the truth. I deserve happy. We all do. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Transitions are tough, but one thing my dog taught me in my recent grief is that nothing stays the same. Even the pain and power of grief transform eventually. Maybe that hawthorn that I picked on those last walks was for this future version of me after all. </span></p>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-32605972823497499542021-01-27T03:51:00.000-08:002021-01-27T03:51:59.809-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; text-align: left;">Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with a friend about how strange it is that we, as humans, rarely talk honestly about the big stuff, notably about the viscera, the pain, the life events that force growth</span><span style="font-family: arial; text-align: left;">. Childbirth was a revelation for me, not because of the wonder, but because of the lack of information I had about those precious weeks after having a baby, of the lengthy blood loss and the physical discomfort of a healing and changed body. When did women stop talking to each other about these most intimate and important facts?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ-fk_Okt30-AeJoDOoqaF5mQP9SC0LeCO5OFg2kyze6EbK03Lad91yZ3q9eLqEDOdROEFBQ-z229kecEOWxsz8rcO7n4XAootcSCWLp1YuxlTM_dkPWLSxOu9GJEir0q0sN1g58jeawyc/s608/Screen+Shot+2021-01-27+at+11.25.58.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="455" data-original-width="608" height="349" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ-fk_Okt30-AeJoDOoqaF5mQP9SC0LeCO5OFg2kyze6EbK03Lad91yZ3q9eLqEDOdROEFBQ-z229kecEOWxsz8rcO7n4XAootcSCWLp1YuxlTM_dkPWLSxOu9GJEir0q0sN1g58jeawyc/w468-h349/Screen+Shot+2021-01-27+at+11.25.58.png" width="468" /></a></div><p></p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">And so on the eleventh anniversary of my cancer diagnosis I am writing about the day of my diagnosis. For anyone who has been given such news the shock is real and </span><span style="font-family: arial;">I remember well, two fingers over my mouth, staring at the floor, unwilling to look at the consultant, grasping</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> mentally for hooks of comprehension. All I could summon was a lifetime of bad TV soap storylines and a sense of the whole experience from above. In the shock and the life-pause I could not understand. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Of course the reality was a slow unfolding of the facts, culminating many weeks later in the revelation that I was going to die. Not yet, no, but at some point. I was sitting under an old and very large tree when I suddenly understood that that tree would be here when I would not. The revealing continued when I reached home. The utter incomprehension that the banister of my hundred year old home could outlive me, had outlived many. The disbelief that the tangible things that shaped my reality, the safety of my home, the inanimate objects that I had chosen to surround myself with, would, could exist beyond my lifetime. The reality of this insight about mortality was shocking and the world spewed into glorious blinding technicolour. I woke up from a deep slumber and started really living, grabbing life, knowing what there was (and still is) to lose. As Paulo Coelho says, "death is our constant companion, and it is death that gives each person's life its true meaning". </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Since the fear of death, or rather the fear of causing pain to my family, was my most pressing anxiety I addressed that first. I wrote to my parents, my husband and my children. Love letters, apology letters. Letters sent and unsent. I dealt with my fear of dying young before I got on with the business of healing. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Eleven years later cancer waxes and wanes as my companion. There are periods where she exists in the shadows, allowing me to relinquish my status of other and to feel more 'normal'. At other times she comes and sits on my lap, encouraging me with her gentle fear to change my protocol, get a test, eat better or meditate. She reminds me to live, she will not desert me. It has taken a long time to accept this fact with grace. To allow it and keep living, to trust it and keep healing. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I believe that processing the shock of a diagnosis and subsequent prognosis is incredibly important if we are to heal. Only two years ago did I really go there, back to that room, to examine the powerful effects that those words had had on my psyche. I 'went' with a homeopath who worked gently with me, tissues at the ready. We used EFT and it was a transformative experience. I was able to hold and comfort that younger, scared version of myself and to tell her that it is OK, it would be ok and it will yet be OK. Better than OK. That younger me had no idea of the world that was about to open up to her - the possibilities, the beauty, the new life awaiting. I remember early on hearing that 'cancer is a gift wrapped in a shitty package'. How true.</span></p><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-1692938932920210802020-07-30T05:13:00.005-07:002020-07-30T09:58:55.376-07:00Surrender<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">Although I am aware of the 5 stages of grief in the </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">Kübler-Ross model, I am only ever able to summon a list of 4: denial, anger, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">bargaining </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">and acceptance</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">. Depression it seems, is the one I keep forgetting, and the one I am now hurtling towards. As the intensity of shock passes, and my brain begins to comprehend this new reality, d</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">eep sorrow turns to melancholy and the lessons begin to settle. Melancholy is almost harder than the fierceness of grief. It is flatline. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">But anyway, I don't believe in those five neat boxes. What of guilt, or sorrow. What of love? What of the complex emotions borne of traumatic chemical imbalance? This sudden dearth of oxytocin? Of up-regulated stress hormones? The 'helpless-hopeless' sensation as a result of depleted dopamine? I am in cold turkey from the withdrawal of this once unrelenting mutual love. I am feeling the loss. My body hurts, my cells ache for their medicine. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">We are amazing, complex creatures. How do these feelings serve us? Where are the lessons in such pain? </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I am starting to sense that I have an opportunity to heal from all of my past hurts, to uncover the dark treasures I have embedded deeply in my tissues. I am cracked wide open, the wounds are once again fresh. What fortune! Now is time to heal from the shock of an assault, of difficulty to conceive, of a cancer diagnosis, of the anguish of a son on life support, of losses and deaths previously emotionally buried.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">But oh how it stings. It burns. It crushes. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">I am being asked to question my beliefs. About myself. About life. About death, and beyond. I am being asked to treat myself with more love and compassion than I have ever shown myself. To shed my old friend Not Good Enough who is once again my companion. To see if I am able to be authentic and raw, to ask for help, to understand my love language. Am I able to be strong, and vulnerable? Am I able to feel without labelling my emotions and putting them into those convenient boxes?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">I turn once again to plants for solace. White chestnut to help with the merry-go-round of unhelpful, repetitive thoughts. Lavender to naturally calm the nervous system. Lemon balm to ease anxiety. Magnesium, and ashwaghanda. Aconite for shock, ignatia for grief. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">We have oxytocin homeopathy. I am planning a family ritual around taking this love hormone, when the time is right. These</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;"> things all help incrementally, quietly, supporting us back to a new wholeness. We recoil at our enforced shearing, but we are starting to grow back new coats, with a deeper understanding of what it means to be here now, to love, to lose. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> dream and recalibrate. I moan and shake and sob.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">Meditation is my friend. Nature is my ally. Mother Earth is ready and able to hold me and take my pain. She is grounding. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">She pushes up. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">Her tides give me hope and put me back together</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The rhythm of the South Downs rocks me gently, unrelenting, unwilling to stop for grief. C</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">ycles of life are easy to recognise in the wild abundance of nature, in the black gold. There is</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> life and death in blades of grass, in ears of wheat hanging heavy, ready for harvest, in the hawthorn berries, almost ripe, astonishingly early.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> In giant hogweed and in poppy seedheads. In flowering mugwort and nettle seeds. On our brave new walks fresh beauty is revealing itself i</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">n versions of animal that were once obscured by thundering lurcher paws. I understand these delights now visible; rabbits, birds, sheep. I am grateful for them. I am excited to retain my newly recognised animal identity. The need to move and explore and be curious. The desire to be fully present and in my body. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;">If life is a series of losses, great and small, ever increasing, how do we embrace the gifts of such loss? I am willing to open and explore them, and to observe these new feelings with curiosity. The pain of birth, of re-birth, the unexpected beauty on the other side of discomfort that we could not possibly previously have conceived of. The technicolour. The collective love holding us gently as we sway, grounded in our consciousness, antennae to the wind, faces to the sun. Surely we must include grace, trust and surrender in any model of grief? And those other emotions which are too grand and too complex to name?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-63970506127394237602020-07-23T14:09:00.002-07:002020-07-23T14:19:43.797-07:00Hierarchy of Grief<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My beautiful dog, Ace, is gone and I find myself, for the first time in my life, on the precipice of grief, buffered by no-one who's love I perceive greater and who's sorrow is rawer. This time it is for me to feel the unrelenting contractions of loss, pain and disbelief. There is no hierarchy of grief to hide behind. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is an intensely powerful thing to grieve as a family unit, each feeling the same depth of pain, in different ways at different times. We are broken open, but able to hold and comfort each other, really understanding the chasm of loss that each other is experiencing. My children are teenagers and are humbling me with their capacity to explore this agony, to be emotionally available, articulate and generous. Still Ace teaches. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In spite of all of the beauty and love, the rituals and the ceremony, the day after his passing I was bereft. My belief in the beyond evaporated with his energy and nothing held me sane. There was simply a vast space where once a magnificent force of nature existed. My children felt him leave, but I did not. I felt anguish for betraying his trust, for not being able to save him. For calling the person who would force his transition.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For all of those who have felt this pain before me, I am astonished, and I marvel at the resilience of humans to heal from grief. Grief, it seems to me, is a kind of madness, a rocking, wailing, salty insanity as our embodied spirits try to make sense of the incomprehensible. There is no place to hide, nowhere to sit, nothing to imbibe that will bring solace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To love unreservedly is to ache viscerally. To the guts. The marrow. Deep into the heart. Nothing makes sense. He is nowhere and everywhere. This pain is deep and raw and consuming. And we must sit in it, allow it, immerse ourselves in the recognition of a great love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our dog reminded us that we are animals. That we can be wild and free and at one with nature. He was kind and he attracted love. We have turned back to our wild selves to grieve him. On his last hot, Downs walk we</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> gathered wild flowers </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">to cover his beautiful body</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and to lay a carpet for his final journey. We asked for loving entities to come and guide him home;</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> his mother, who died recently, and the dog who guided us to him in the very beginning. We asked our own spirit guides to support us. He had buddhists chanting for him, shaman holding him, others praying. We supported his passing with fresh rosemary, and with oils of rose otto, frankincense and bergamot. We filled our house with hawthorn branches, lavender and bowls of foraged flowers. We smudged with sage and eucalyptus. We drummed his physical leaving, a compelling rhythm that found unity in the heartbeat of our shock and pain. He was smiling even in death, outdoors where he wanted to be, surrounded by nature, love and compassion. We sat by an open fire and tried to process an event so horrific but so gentle. Euthanasia comes from the Greek 'Good Death' and as time continues to unravel, we see that we were able to give him exactly that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We have built a shrine and we tend to it daily, keeping a flame alive, fresh flowers in a bowl. We have baptised ourselves in the ocean, cleansing ourselves for a new beginning that we are not ready for and did not want. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are listening to music. To screaming saxophones and African beats, gentle lulla-byes of love and truth and faith. Every word has been written for him, and for us. Words are powerful incantations and the very spelling of them into existence to translate our pain is surprisingly comforting. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We have sobbed and held and danced. We have shocked each other with outbursts of grief at realisations of 'lasts', that there will be no more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As the days pass we find that the beauty of the rituals in which we bathed him, and which did not serve us in the shock of the aftermath, are in fact guiding us gently back to a belief system and to comfort. He was always a huge presence, and his energy has taken no time to show us some (frankly outrageous) signs that he is still here. They come daily, and they buoy us.They cannot compensate for the physical loss, the missing of touch, but they are settling like sediment into our cells, creating a new sense of wholeness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I will be eternally grateful that this great love, this teacher of the unconditional, came to me and to my family, with no expectation, to show us purity, curiosity, boundless energy, kindness, pain and a higher love. He has taught us so much, not least to grab life and all of it's shame and sorrow, guilt and glory ... and joy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-24504108274536421622020-07-18T03:30:00.001-07:002020-07-21T02:34:39.474-07:00Death Doulas<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As we come to the end of our time with our magnificent young dog I am being called once again to question my spiritual beliefs. I am being given huge opportunities to learn from my grief, and all of my unresolved 'stuff' is coming to the surface: unfairness, abandonment and unwillingness to let go. The child in me is wailing and raw. The adult is bereft. I am not afraid of death FOR him, but I am acutely aware of the impending missing OF him. Of his soft little mouth, and his huge strong body. Of our daily adventures and our insane ability to communicate with each other. Many times over the past almost 5 years I have wondered about this intense relationship - what is it? Animal-human bonds are deep and meaningful and fill a space that was always intended to be filled. If we are lucky they are pure soul connections.This dog has been a mentor and a muse. One of my life's great teachers. What luck. What pain. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have tried hard to reverse this shocking disease in my dog. I truly believe that the body can heal. But he has been clear, he is not for healing. I have had to dig deep and be true to my beliefs; that we must never force, and we must allow and support the process of dying. Even if it is vehemently not what we want. He is an entity and must be respected. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And so to the process of dying. Birth is a process. Painful and beautiful. We allow it, we prepare for it, and we accept that it takes time, and support from others. Meaningful death is no different. Death doulas can support the dying AND the grieving, by creating a comforting and comfortable environment. In the days leading up to death they can advise us and hold us in ways that most of us are not culturally versed. I am so very lucky to have a friend who is a death doula, generous and willing to support this process for us as a family, to share her wisdom and to give us some much needed tools to guide us through the next phase. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are spending our last two days speaking gently with our dog. Telling him how we feel, what is about to happen, making any apologies and letting him know how grateful we are to him. We have made a journey stick, commemorating our walks with him, a totem. I have collected fur, and we have one of his puppy teeth dipped in silver. When his time comes, we want his spirit to transition gently and easily. We want to hold space for him to die with grace and dignity. We will call on his spirit guides to accompany him home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are planning rituals and making a shrine, lighting candles and finding objects that seem important or relevant to his earth bound life. We are nurturing ourselves as much as him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After he has gone, we will grieve in our own ways, respectful of each other's timings. We will have a fire pit and recount stories of how he touched us, what he meant to us. We will honour him and his gifts. And we will gently remember to focus on what we still have rather than what we do not. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I want to hold my children in their grief - to teach them that there are other ways to express their pain than way of the British 'stiff upper lip'. They can sob quietly, wail loudly, both or neither.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For my children the death of our dog is bringing up painful and frightening feelings about my cancer experience. They may be ten years older but it touches all of the nerves of loss. In pain there is opportunity to grow, and if we ignore that, we waste the lesson. And so I am asking myself, how can I model grief in a way that is healthy. How can I put into practice my beliefs about death in ways that will one day comfort them? I want to show them that self care and honest expression is vital during painful times.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Death is life. Grief is love. Acceptance is grace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-36742999296938097692020-06-06T10:57:00.000-07:002020-06-07T14:03:47.828-07:00Anticipatory grief<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yesterday I learned a new term: anticipatory grief. <span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;">It refers to a feeling of grief occurring before an impending loss. I am deeply grieving my dog. And he is still here.</span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;">In a way this form of grief gives us the gift of time. We are able to really soak Ace in before he is gone forever. We can say sorry, I love you, goodbye. In another way it is agonising. It means facing a reality that I desperately don't want to face, that we are on an inevitable, unexpected journey to a destination without him. </span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;">Yesterday I saw a wonderful homeopathic, herbalist vet, Tim Couzens. This man smiled from his eyes. He greeted us in shorts and a t-shirt. Everything about his practice felt comforting. There was hope in his demeanour, and in his rows of tinctures, herbs and natural medicines. I had waited 8 long days to meet this gentle man. He shares with me a belief in supporting root cause, in natural medicine, in holding an animal with dignity and love. And he couldn't tell me what I wanted to hear. </span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;">He listened to my description of my larger than life, beautiful dog, before calmly telling me that from looking at his scan results, Ace's condition is severe. His heart is so enlarged that it no longer resembles a heart. My boy's body is working hard, and he could experience a fatal heart attack at any moment. Tim recommended supplements which I I am already giving - hawthorn, dandelion, COQ10, plus CBD oil and L-carnitine. He hopes to see us again in two weeks. I understand the inference</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;"> of that sentence. </span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;">The natural supplements feel right and good for my dog and for the way we live. They are supportive of the heart muscle, as opposed to the pharmaceutical drugs which are symptom-addressing. I believe in the power of the body to heal. I believe in plant based medicine to support that. I also believe that most diseases are borne of toxicity or deficiency, and that we need to eliminate toxins, and re-nutrify if we are to heal. The conventional medicines are potent, and needed to regulate Ace's heartbeat and remove water from his lungs. My dog is teaching me about being open to new ideas, about combining allopathic and natural medicines. He is teaching me about an integrative approach, which for so long I've quietly rejected.</span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;">Just before meeting Tim we saw a wonderful therapist, Lisa Gorrie, who works with '</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #4d5156;">Applied Zoopharmacognosy'. This is the practice of supporting your pet to self-medicate and heal themselves through scent, plant based medicines and nutrients. Working this way, you never force or hide medications and supplements, you simply offer them, trusting that your pet will choose what they need. It's the ultimate lesson in relinquishing control and it takes the pet-owner relationship to a new level. My boy loved it! He chose antivirals and antibacterials and immediately got his appetite back. He knows what he needs, and if I'm mindful he will show me how best to support him, even if that is in dying. </span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And so to dying. For many years I have felt solid in my beliefs about life and death. And yet here I find myself, emotional, desperate and bewildered at the impending loss of my dog. My dog. It feels outrageous to be so deeply attached to an animal when I have experienced the loss of friends and family. It occurs to me that grief-pain comes from the inability to let go, from the desperate refusal to accept and support the natural process of dying. The one kindness I seem able to give myself at the moment, amongst too much coffee and not enough sleep, is really owning all of the feelings. Allowing the crazy thoughts of how we can hold on to him, or a piece of him. The mental bargaining, the clinging and pleading with him not to go. The irrational, ugly thoughts. The anxiety about having to miss my dog every day for the rest of my life. The melodrama and the emotional flatline. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Denial is one of my favourite places to be at the moment. In denial I can feel optimistic. As Sophie Sabbage says in her brilliant Ted Talk about grief, denial is not grief, denial is denial. Anger is not grief, anger is anger. The stages of grief are not linear or compartmentalised. They all have a place and a purpose. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are still out foraging. This morning I found Ace drinking comfrey water in the garden. It's rich in potassium, magnesium and B vitamins - all good for the heart, all depleted by his medicines. He knows. He hasn't forgotten to trust his instincts. We went on a long, gentle walk over the downs looking for comfrey and finding wild roses, anti-inflammatory and supportive of the heart and circulation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I also feel inspired to finally cable our wifi, something which has been on my to-do list for a long time, never completed. Wifi is well known to negatively interrupt the vibration of pets, and children, who are much more sensitive to it's frequency disruption than adults (although it absolutely affects us too!) The heart is an electrical organ, it makes sense that it would impact heart rate and circulation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is so much to learn. And so much to love. </span></div>
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Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-36866661270839285102020-05-30T05:31:00.003-07:002020-07-23T17:31:45.222-07:00Puppy lessons part two<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My beloved dog, Ace, was diagnosed with congestive heart failure this week. He is almost 5 and usually has the most robust and vivacious energy. To say that we are all devastated would be an understatement. And so begins a new journey with him - one of even more presence and renewed unconditional love. There are so many lessons revealing themselves. From acknowledging our feelings, to being mindful of our energy around him. With the shock of a diagnosis comes the gift of a life thrown once again into technicolour, the surprise that that lesson had faded, that there had been some subtle seepage of comfortable taking-for-granted. And again, the big lessons, the reminders to trust and surrender.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ace is a beautiful, big dog. Huge. He has always attracted attention from strangers, and been lavished with love and affection. As a result he is incredibly curious about, and loving towards, people. He is wonderfully patient and gentle with children. His heart has been relentlessly, unconditionally filled with love. Maybe that is why it's so big. His left ventricle is enlarged and failing to push oxygenated blood efficiently around his body. As a result there is fluid building around his lungs, making his breathing fast and laboured. He has lost weight and his coat is rough. His body is working hard. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But he is still playful and happy. He smiles. The wag is enthusiastic and when it meets an obstacle (which it frequently does in our small house) it reverberates. He rushes to dance with me when we play salsa music. That dance is not the most elegant, and involves him jumping (invited) onto my back, front paws gripping my waist, his head nibbling my shoulder, while he kangaroo hops ten inches off the floor. He comes for a blow dry when he hears the hairdryer. He is hilarious. Strong. Soulful. We find him endlessly beautiful to look at. None of us has ever managed to sufficiently drink him in. He is majestic, derpy and handsome. He is soft. His paws smell of popcorn. We have painted the inside of one of our cupboards pink in homage to the delicious colour of the inside of his ears. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are obsessed with this dog.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He has taught me so so much in the past 5 years. My journey with him has totalled half of my post diagnosis life. He has truly shown me my ultimate healing environment by finally being the one to get me moving. We have covered much ground over days, weeks, months and years. We must have walked close to 10,000 kms together. He has shown me the seasons, the changes, the beauty of nature pushing up in Spring, and the coldness of muddy East Sussex winters. We have favourite pathways, rivers, forests and chalk pits. We forage together. He has shown me why we should eat cleaver tips in spring and where the best elderflowers blossom. Together we have discovered fields of clover, wild cowslips, hogwort, mullein, dulcamara, and hawthorn. We know where the peregrine falcons nest, and which fields hold the sheep that he would so love to chase. We get high, up onto the South Downs, and low, onto the beaches where there is sand at low tide. He has given me the gift of freedom and of feeling connected to Mother Earth in a way I have never before been, or thought possible. And he has shown me how to see love and familiarity in all animals, in the way they lay, scratch, stretch. No lie, elephants in Sri Lanka reminded me of my dog, as did camels in Morocco. And by being part of a dog walking community I have made wonderful new friends, and I see the genuine kindness in humans. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And so to his healing, and the acceptance that maybe that is not what will be. For weeks now he and I have been walking through fields of hawthorn trees heavy with blossom. I have taken to bringing a large basket and secateurs on those walks, and collecting the flowers and leaves, not really knowing why this year in particular I have been drawn to cut, dehydrate and make tincture from these beautiful plants. I was aware of their powers to aid circulation, support the kidneys and improve heart function. And also for their potency in grief. And so, Ace and I find that we are both taking the medicine from this plant. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm amazed at how similar the allopathic treatment for congestive heart failure is for humans and dogs. That has lead me to believe that I can support Ace with herbs, homeopathy and supplements based on what I know about the human body. As such we</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> are giving fermented cod liver oil, vitamin E and oily fish to counter the cardiac cachexia (lean muscle weight loss). He is also taking liposomal glutathione and taurine, and we will be starting him on COQ10 as soon as it arrives. Magnesium and potassium are vital for heart health, and we are adding those to bone broth with colostrum. We feel lucky that we have all of these supplements indoors. He is raw fed and not interested in treats. I am having to be creative about getting him to eat these supplements, but I wholeheartedly believe in the power of supporting body systems with nutraceuticals, so I will find a way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He has been prescribed diuretics to move fluid from his lungs. These will eventually deplete his kidneys to the point of failure. I am keen to find alternatives to pharmaceuticals, but it feels like a fine line and a huge responsibility. At the moment I am giving him homeopathy to help with this, and we are making fresh teas from plants which are diuretic, like dandelion. As the dandelion wanes, I am looking for plants that are fresh and relevant. He is still teaching me. Elderflowers have diuretic properties, and are abundant at the moment. This local, seasonal magic feels potent to me right now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He has also, maybe ironically considering his name, huge personality and big heart, been prescribed ACE inhibitors. This medicine widens and dilates blood vessels so that his heart doesn't have to work so hard. There have been studies to show that pomegranate juice is as effective. Pomegranate is in his protocol. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's a lesson in patience. We are watching him. Making sure he is comfortable. I will let him guide me in whether he needs more, less or something different. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Beyond the physical healing he is teaching me to be even more gentle, patient and communicative with my children who are aching at the moment. I've realised that whether he lives or dies, he was always going to teach us about the process of dying. And of loss. And of letting go. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maybe that will be his biggest lesson to us all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But at the end of all of that is LOVE.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-49869727839539154822020-05-02T05:42:00.000-07:002020-05-02T11:07:23.515-07:00Hello, it's been a whileIt's been a while since I've written a blog post. Almost 4 years to the day in fact!<br />
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Today I received a lovely message from a friend who said that she had only just realised that the blog she followed when she was newly diagnosed was mine. She had wondered what had happened to the author and if she was still well. Her message got me thinking about all of the reasons I wrote this blog, and all of the reasons why I stopped.<br />
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Two and a half years after my own diagnosis, I started documenting my cancer experience. It took me that long to feel safe enough to blog, to feel well enough mentally, physically and emotionally to share my story. Around that time I was receiving a lot of emails and phone calls from people who were interested in alternative treatments, many of whom who had reached the end of their allopathic journey and were looking for something else. Because I had rejected chemotherapy, radiotherapy and tamoxifen, those people were curious about my protocols. The blog was a place where I could signpost people to all of the wonderful practitioners and treatments that I had found, and it served as a possible shortcut when, at the point of diagnosis, overwhelmed and scared, we find ourselves needing answers fast. I called it Grow because I was still learning. Ten years on, I am still learning. The ideas in the blog are all seeds. Seeds that others can take and plant, research and identify with, or discard if they don't resonate.<br />
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Around that time I started admin-ing on a wonderful Facebook group, Cancerucan. That group is an utter beacon of hope and solidarity to those experiencing cancer. I got heavily emotionally involved on a daily basis. I felt that suddenly I had a connection with people who were speaking my language. A language of circulating cancer cells, genetic polymorphisms, hormone tests .. and fear. Initially it was a blessed relief and it calmed my feelings of isolation. But over time I began to feel that cancer was defining me.<br />
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My world once again turned into a place where cancer hung in every moment. As an admin, for a long while it was my job to join new members. That involved talking to people who were often newly diagnosed, at the exact point of their most intense feelings about life and death. Over time that level of anxiety became pervasive. I had a skewed perspective on how prevalent cancer was. I started to see it everywhere, in every stranger's cough, every friend's ache, in my husband and my children.<br />
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And then I took a step back and looked at my immediate physical environment. We had moved to Lewes by then, and my community was that of creatives and home educators. No-one had cancer. My real life was not, in fact, all about cancer. My real life was about nature and connection, learning, being, freedom from routine ... it was about all of the things that I love.<br />
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I thought about the ways in which our cells mutate to survive in hostile environments in the body. In acidic, dehydrated, toxic environments. I looked at the mental and emotional environment I was creating in my body, and it was NOT conducive to health. My REAL environment however, was.<br />
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I decided that I was finally ready to cut the cord. Cancer had certainly served me in ways that I had been unprepared for. It had allowed me to reclaim my voice, shown me how to develop a spiritual practice, given me a loving lesson in nutrition and taught me that to learn I had to un-learn. It had released in me the strength to start a new life which felt more compatible with my soul's desires. But I hadn't noticed that over time I had held on so tightly to my new master, unwilling to let it go, that it had in fact become my master.<br />
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I stopped writing the blog and I stopped being an admin on Cancerucan. I began to put my energy into positive, local enterprises. I started a Wellness group for young home educated teenagers. We have been running it weekly for almost 2 years now. To be able to share what I have learned with these healthy, open, enquiring, articulate young people is an incredible blessing. To share the premise that we are each responsible for our own health, with a group of kids who are open to that idea is just amazing. We have talked about the big stuff like epigenetics, and the small stuff, like the cell. We have played games to support our learning about phase 1 and 2 liver detox, and we have foraged over the Downs, and made natural medicine from our hauls. I want these children to understand that they have choices in how they eat, think, breathe and live. I want them to understand that they can positively impact their health. I want them to develop a running conversation with their bodies so that they can respond to lack or toxicity, rather than masking symptoms with an allopathic mindset. Most of all I want them never to have to get to the stage of ill health that I did because I wasn't equipped with an understanding of how my body worked.<br />
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As for my health. It has been 10 years and 2 months since my diagnosis. I am still counting! I am well, and managing my health from a functional perspective. I pulse my protocols depending on where I feel my body needs support. At the moment I am going gently through menopause, and I find myself, after years of painful periods, oestrogen dominance and breast cancer, missing oestrogen and all of the wisdom it rhythmically dispensed. I am well, with no evidence of cancer. But I am always mindful of maintaining that healthy internal environment that keeps cancer quiescent. For me that is a mind, body and spirit approach that serves me well.<br />
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Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-25183296497770873742016-05-13T05:44:00.001-07:002020-03-17T02:01:24.783-07:00'23andme' test<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are 7 billion people on this planet, each with approximately 37.2 trillion cells, a unique genetic code and a myriad of detoxification pathways. I think that we can safely assume that when it comes to healing, what works for one person may not work for another. </span></span></div>
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Personalised treatment demands individual testing. My latest exciting insights come from the <a href="https://www.23andme.com/en-gb/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GB_Search-Branded&utm_term=uk_onepager&utm_content=23c_Search_Paid_Brand&gclid=Cj0KEQjw9tW5BRDk29KDnqWu4fMBEiQAKj7sp_aYJD--7Q8nkqHvNrcCziNneflMM08nxQx14pUOSSEaAk948P8HAQ">23andme</a> genetic profile test. This test shows genetic SNPs - essentially 'mutations' (or more accurately 'polymorphisms') in the gene code. I'm just starting to learn about this, and it's pretty involved. 23andme analyses hundreds of thousands of SNPs scattered across 23 pairs of chromosomes which make up the human genetic sequence. This is just a fraction of the estimated 10 million possible SNPs in the human genome! Gulp. Now think about this - each of our estimated 20-25,000 known genes has a regulatory job. A SNP in a certain place of a certain gene indicates reduced function, and </span><span class="s2">can give valuable insight into disease pathways.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The most well understood and important SNP is in the MTHFR gene. This gene instructs the body to make the MTHFR enzyme. This important enzyme is responsible for converting vitamin B9, or folate, into it's active form, Methylfolate, which is </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">a key player in the METHYLATION CYCLE. This critical chemical process takes place billions of times per second in our cells and is fundamental to the proper function of almost all of the body's systems. Here's the science part (I wish I'd paid more attention during chemistry lessons!) Methylation is the process of donating a methyl group (one atom of carbon bound to three of hydrogen: CH3) to a substrate (an end product, ie DNA, RNA, chemicals, neurotransmitters, hormones, immune cells, nerves) to make the necessary biochemical conversions needed for:</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Building neurotransmitters</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So you see, if this important cycle is working under par due to a gene mutation, over time it can lead to degenerative disease; breast cancer, MS and Alzheimers to name a few. Around 40% of us have a SNP in the MTHFR gene. A heterozygous SNP (where one allele is affected but the other is fine) can decrease efficacy by up to 40%, and a homozygous (where both alleles are affected) by up to 90%.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And MTHFR is just one gene of around 20,000! I have homozygous SNPs in </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">COMT and MAO-A, two</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> important detoxification genes, both of which are responsible for inactivating the more dangerous forms of oestrogen, and breaking down catecholamines (dopamine and adrenaline). My methylation pathways are compromised with homozygous SNPs in MTR and MTRR genes, and</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I have heterozygous mutations in 20 other genes. </span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My SNPs explain my inability to process B vitamins, my tendency to worry (are you reading this, husband?), my adrenal burn out, heavy metal toxicity and inability to metabolise oestrogen safely - a sure route to breast cancer. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But there's no bad news here! The beauty of this incredible knowledge is, that according to epigenetics we can switch our genes on or off by adjusting our internal environment. With this information we can gently support the body in the areas of lack, for example by taking oestrogen detoxifiers like calcium d-glucarate and DIM, or bioavailable forms of methyl/hydroxy B12 and methylfolate. </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Information is power, and this test provides another very important piece of the puzzle. I would absolutely recommend everyone who is trying to heal from chronic disease to take it. It costs £125 and is available to order (in the UK) on-line, you simply spit into a tube and post. Results take 6 - 8 weeks to come back, and need to be run through an interpretation programme. I found Nutra-hacker to be the most simple to understand, with elegant diagrams explaining the implication of certain SNPs and how to address them supplementally. </span></span></div>
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Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-36819685399084478012016-05-06T04:17:00.002-07:002016-05-06T10:27:22.248-07:00Dying. And living.<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We're all going to die. We know this right? Death is an integral part of life. But how many of us live like we positively embrace and accept this fact</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">? In the past few months so many beautiful souls that I know have passed. I wonder if any of us are ever ready. For some I sensed acceptance that it was time to soar. Others felt that they had more to do here. And yet, our only reason to BE is to Be Here Now, to taste the sweetness of every moment in this physical body.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Death Doulas seem like a pretty good idea to me. Just as birth is an elegant human process, so is dying. What a beautiful thing, to be supported and guided in this experience, with love, knowledge and compassion. I want my children to have this understanding, that at the point of death we can choose to be surrounded by loved ones who peacefully allow us to be released from our physical bodies, know</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ing they must gently support and allow this progression. That the time is right, that it's OK. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My reasons to stay Earthbound come in human (and puppy) shaped forms. It's all about love. It's only about love. And yet where we're going after this life, there will be no end of love. My belief is that when we die that's all there is, we assimilate back into the one giant heartbeat that is God, or Source, or whatever word works for you. There is no need to fear death, instead we must surely wholly embrace life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For me, the realisation that this life is a Good One, has been immense. I'm living in a state of abundance, blessed with a healthy family, a roof over my head and food on my table. I don't live in fear or poverty, and so I believe that I have an obligation to do the work in this lifetime - to grow spiritually. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cancer has been my biggest teacher, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm so grateful to have woken up. That I've been able to live every day since diagnosis wholly is a blessing. Sometimes it's felt onerous and intense, but I've never wanted to go back to sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This week I bought a waterproof box. I put all of my cancer journals into it, and only on placing it in the loft did I realise that I'm ready to put cancer behind me, rather than being immersed in it, surrounded by it. I live by it's lessons, but I release the fear.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For Karl, Hannah, Janet, Rosa, Grant and Maria: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Raymond Carver - Late Fragment</span><br />
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And did you get what</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">you wanted from this life, even so? </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I did.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And what did you want?</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To call myself beloved, to feel myself</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">beloved on the earth.</span><br />
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Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-24612081836122162712016-02-07T12:20:00.001-08:002016-09-10T05:50:53.592-07:00Puppy Classes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm simplifying my life. An unintentional cliched Christmas puppy has forced my hand. He's made me realise that everything can be as sublime as sniffing the invisible. I've been thinking about my approach to health, and I realise that it comes down to these three things:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Addressing the underlying imbalances that lead to cancer </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For me, this means balancing a wonky endocrine system, healing my leaky gut, nurturing & nourishing myself, exercising and getting good quality sleep.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Changing the external environment which lead to cancer</b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No more living the life I don't want whilst yearning for the one I do. I'm making it happen the way I want it EVERY SINGLE DAY.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Reversing any cancer in my body.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have a strong rotating protocol of anti cancer supplements which work by cutting tumour blood supply, encouraging cancer cell death and strengthening my immune system.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that is it! Simple!</span><br />
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<br />Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-70445739360409241682016-01-26T12:39:00.001-08:002016-01-27T00:45:37.111-08:00A love letter to my greatest teacher<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dear Cancer,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for teaching me that I don't need to be CURED to be healed, that I don't need to prove that the path I chose was the 'right' one. Now I understand that cured or not, it was always the right choice for me. You've taught me not to judge the individual ways that people approach life changes - there is no right or wrong way. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've learned that there is simply an ebb and flow to health and disease. Nothing is permanent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for being my biggest catalyst for change. You forced me to create the life I always hankered for. I now have more freedom, more space and less conformity. You have given me permission to be myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm grateful that you taught me to be kinder to myself. To let go of the feeling that I was not 'good enough'. Thank you for allowing me to see my full potential, to understand that this life is a good one, and I can live it wholly. Thank you for showing me that there are no guarantees for tomorrow. I've stopped putting things off, and living in the present is proving exhilarating.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for teaching me that I have a choice in the way I react. Understanding that even the most challenging situation is a potential for growth is very empowering.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Without you I would not have tuned into my body's innate wisdom. It's a gift to feel the ways in which it guides me. I feel better when I eat well, sleep well, exercise and live consciously. It's good to be awake.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for showing me that acceptance is a comfort.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for teaching me about life....and death. I found faith in you. It holds me and teaches me to trust. For me, this has been a game changer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With sincerest gratitude,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nicola.</span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-79986212913108989582015-11-21T10:05:00.002-08:002015-11-21T12:49:49.600-08:00Hormones<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As incredible as it may seem, only now, six years on, am I addressing the intricate state of my hormones. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My body is pretty frustrated with me about this tardiness, and has been screaming at me with some rather obvious signs to SORT IT OUT!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Where shall I start? A recent ultrasound showed numerous tiny cysts in my remaining breast. That, coupled with heavy, painful periods and pre-menstrual migraines is a clear indication of oestrogen dominance. Hmmmmmmm, oestrogen dominance eh? No big surprise there. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you go on the contraceptive pill at 15 tender years old (for painful periods, which could have been quite beautifully managed instead with magnesium!) you can bet your arse you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of hormone imbalance. Now, listen to this for a catastrophic cycle. Excess oestrogen (as found in the contraceptive pill) supports the growth of candida. Systemic candida</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> causes leaky gut and malabsorption, which </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">inhibits the excretion of unwanted oestrogen from the body, promoting it's reabsorption and contributing further to oestrogen dominance.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Candida </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">depletes gut production of B vitamins, which have a role in metabolising oestrogen to it's safer, weaker sister. To compound these issues, a recent 23andme test shows that I have skewed genetic pathways in both oestrogen and B vitamin metabolism! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As with all hormones, oestrogen and progesterone are synergistic. As we head begrudgingly towards menopause, progesterone levels decline, and the delicate balance between oestrogen and progesterone becomes skewed, leading to hot flushes, etc. Enter Serenity Bio-identical Progesterone cream which naturally rebalances oestrogen levels. I've been using this for about 4 months with quite amazing results. No more pre-menstrual migraines. No more flooding or blood clots. Good. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back to my body, which has been yelling at me with textbook signs of hypothyroidism: cold hands and feet, dry skin, weight gain, low libido, tiredness. Tick, tick, tick....you get the picture! Recent blood tests backed this up, highlighting a low white blood count, low ferritin, low platelets, low T3, high cholesterol, all of which points to a deficient thyroid. And guess what? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thyroid deficiency also has a role in oestrogen dominance. Or oestrogen dominance has a role in thyroid deficiency. You see how easily this delicate hormone dance can become imbalanced? To complicate issues, adrenal insufficiency is fairly common due to to constant low level stress, and we need fully operating adrenal glands if the thyroid is to respond to any medication! Let's come back to candida, again. Leaky gut causes autoimmune disease, the thyroid gland being a common target of the misdirected immune system. Convoluted but all beautifully tied in. Of course it is, every cell in our body is connected through a system we can only hope to try to understand!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So now we come to the fun part. Yesterday I met my newest doctor. I always fall in love with the best ones, and I am pleased to say that I have a new crush! Dr Barry Durant-Peatfield is a retired NHS doctor. He resigned after a forced suspension, having upset the British Medical Council because he refused to prescribe the synthetic drug Thyroxine, over the natural version (which is dessicated bovine or porcine thyroid gland.) He's an old-school doctor in the best sense. He relies on old fashioned testing: pulse, reflexes, and basal temperature (this is your temperature on waking, before rising. The ideal body temperature is 36.5 degrees. Those with hypothyroidism often measure around one degree lower. Women who are still menstruating should take their temperature on days 1 - 4 of their period). His clinical diagnosis suggests that I have thyroid and adrenal insufficiency. His common sense (and that fact that Serenity has worked so well for me) suggests oestrogen dominance. My coated tongue tells him that I still have some work to do on overcoming candida.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My new protocol involves taking Adrenal Support, Thyroid support, Serenity cream and continuing to work on candida (I'm using caprylic acid, Pau Darco, oregano oil and cinammon). He anticipates that within a few weeks I'll be feeling great. His parting words? "You all get better" I can't wait!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-87163718475487283902015-10-28T04:53:00.002-07:002015-10-29T11:31:26.159-07:00The Shift<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The reality of living with cancer, is that my feelings toward it are different from one day to the next. While it's true that I wouldn't change my life-giving diagnosis, it's also the case that some days are tough. In these moments there's a gnawing fear that something is growing, insidious and unseen, beyond my control but within my body. It manifests as a darkness and is overwhelming. This is when meditation comes into its own. Breathing brings me back to peace. There's a deep reassurance in reclaiming just an element of control whilst releasing all control! Of knowing that I'm doing my best, and that my best is good enough. M</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">editation has brought me an understanding that I'm here purely to experience, to play. We humans are powerful beings and whatever the outcome of disease, living in the moment is the key to absolute happiness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've always believed that cancer could be shifted in a matter of hours, or even minutes, if the mindset, no, the whole environment, was right. I've sensed that I was tantalisingly close to that place, and yet I held on to cancer, enjoying the ride, loving how much I was learning from it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And now something beautiful is happening. After almost 6 years of living with a degree of fear and uncertainty, something is changing. I am well. I feel well. I have no symptoms of cancer, and despite my incessant detective work, peering into the microscopic realms of my body, I find that the more I know, the less I really know. I'm starting to trust in something greater. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Faith. What a companion. It makes everything so much simpler because with faith comes a heightened sense of guidance and intuition. I feel tuned in to a bigger voice, my inner voice. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cancer has brought me here and I am grateful.</span><br />
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<br />Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-77050405696833082762015-10-07T12:04:00.003-07:002015-10-07T12:11:24.025-07:00Australia<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For a long time we've put off travelling. We've postponed it because we spend all of our available money on my health. On organic food, supplements, doctors appointments, scans, tests and treatments. After my last disappointing test result in February we decided to stop procrastinating and get on with living. I am, after all, alive!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so, we've just spent the last month in Australia, catching up with family and old friends, revisiting places that I loved when I lived there in my twenties, soaking up the sun and immersing ourselves in glorious nature. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's been something incredibly healing about this trip. When I was first diagnosed, I spent a lot of time visualising myself on Bondi beach, arms around the shoulders of slightly-more-grown children. Do we manifest our reality because that's where we put our energy, or do we move towards a future which we are able to visualise purely because it's our destiny? Either way, I've spent the past month feeling very blessed, very present, and very healthy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I packed the most basic supplements: magnesium, DIM, calcium d-glucarate, iodine, colostrum, probiotics, krill, frankincense and IP6, alongside my trusty enema bag. I ate fantastically well thanks to a burgeoning health scene - chia pudding and a protein ball at the airport? No problem! Vegan? Gluten free? Easy. Every apartment we rented had a blender, and every cafe had a green juice or smoothie on the menu. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I meditated on ocean-washed rocks and remote palm-fringed beaches, went for massages and practiced yoga under paperbark gum trees. I rode a bike, walked, ran, kayaked, swam and snorkelled. I watched the sun rise and contemplated my beautiful life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During one particularly potent meditation came the words "cancer is fear", and I knew this to be true. I know that I carry fear like a shadow. But not on this holiday. A month away from fear must surely be the most powerful form of healing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt fully guided throughout the entire trip. Everything felt easy. On our last day in Sydney I woke early to watch the sun rise. A photographer sitting behind me captured my moment and sent me the picture. It felt like the perfect confirmation of being in exactly the right place at the right time. </span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-55470238931236343572015-06-16T04:38:00.000-07:002015-06-18T02:17:01.409-07:00The emotional body<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't believe that I haven't written about this properly before, but such a HUGE part of returning to health relies on emotional healing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've recently started the most beautiful Yoga Nidra practice. Every Wednesday night I join three or four others at the local village hall, and have my eyes and body opened by my wonderful teacher. He's fascinated by the way that we hold emotion, energy and experience in our body, and how that ultimately affects our health. He gently encourages us to explore pain as pure sensation, to breathe the body and let go. I'm becoming acutely aware of where I hold 'stuff', of how entrenched these patterns are, and of how liberating 'letting go' can become. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taking this one step further, I've experienced a couple of one on one co-meditation sessions with him. Wow! Some things came up of which I had no conscious memory, and the processing of those memories has positively changed certain relationships for me, relationships that I thought I had worked through many times over the past 5 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's an old analogy, but returning to health is like peeling back the layers of an onion. A bloody huge onion it would seem! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the past 5 years I've explored lots of different emotional, energetic and spiritual healing practices. Reiki and Acupuncture would be at the top of my list for an instant re-setting of mood and energy. I've seen spiritual healers who have helped me to tap into my higher self, and to trust in something bigger. I went on a Journey weekend with Brandon Bays, where we meditated until I could literally only sense myself in the thin film of my nostrils. We delved into our cellular memories and released! Hypnotherapists have helped me to retrain my subconscious beliefs about myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meditation, visualisation and positive affirmations have become part of my daily routine. When we meditate we enter parasympathetic mode, which slows the heart rate, breathing rate and blood pressure, soothing the sympathetic system (which is responsible for the adrenal fight or flight state). Emotions trigger real chemical reactions in the body, so fear activates adrenaline, and in this state vital healing functions such as digestion, circulation and the immune system are shut down and compromised. During meditation, the mind and body are relaxed and calm, allowing the body to do what it does best; repair! Visualisation is a fantastic way of 'tricking' the body into healing. Every day, organ by organ, I visualise my body as healthy, optimally functioning and cancer free. This positive belief is passed on to the body as real. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As well as seeking out practitioners I've delved into books about spirituality and the mind-body connection. My top three would definitely be "You Are The Placebo" by Joe Dispenza, "The Biology of Belief" by Bruce Lipton, and "Journey of Souls' by Michael Newton.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, there's so much more to explore. I'm really drawn to sound baths - the idea that we resonate at a certain frequency, and that being bathed in those frequencies can bring us back to a state of pure harmony. It's been a long time coming, but that's definitely next on the list!</span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-86683208116965909942015-06-05T06:00:00.000-07:002015-06-05T06:00:35.832-07:00Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign (2015) Rant<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This year's breast awareness campaign asks us to post a photo of a can of coke nestling between our breasts. Apparently thought up by an adult modelling agency, we can now expect to be subjected to a barrage of pictures of perfect (fake?) boobs cradling a modern day poison. A CAN OF COKE!? There are approximately TEN teaspoons of sugar in a can of coke! I cannot even..... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And for those of us who no longer have the full compliment? For those of us who have had lumpectomies, mastectomies, or just plain don't own the perfect set of media breasts? I've never heard of such ignorant stupidity. Objectifying breasts in the context of breast cancer - I find it totally offensive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When will we get it right? What's needed is education about the link between poor diet and cancer, sugar and cancer, convenience food and cancer, stress and cancer. The list goes on. What is not needed is advertising off the back of cancer. Even a campaign showing us how to check our breasts is shutting the gate after the proverbial horse has bolted. We need to stop putting plasters over the issue and address the root cause. We need a whole generation of children to start taking responsibility for their health, understanding how to create wellness in themselves so that they never have to experience the joys of cancer. How wonderful would it be for the next generation of girls (and boys) to dodge this modern day bullet?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What next? A campaign to raise awareness of colorectal cancer sponsored by McDonalds? Livid!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You know what's coming next.....a selfie of my chest with a green juice :D</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5336349096150621819.post-48479792918387639892015-06-01T08:14:00.000-07:002015-06-18T11:16:20.518-07:00Acceptance<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's been a huge shift in the way I think about cancer lately.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A good friend sparked this new mindset in me. I told her that I was struggling to visualise myself cancer free when I'd just paid someone a lot of money to tell me exactly how much there is in my body! She suggested that I accept the cancer is there, and listen to it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I took that nugget with me on a run, and what came up was surprising. I've never 'owned' my cancer cells, but maybe it's time to. They're here to teach me something, that much is certain. They are also a part of me, a microscopic version of me. These cells want to be acknowledged, listened to and loved. Negating them, hating them, fighting them just creates more conflict. Conflict is not conducive to healing. What we resist persists. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The message was profound, but so simple:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I acknowledge cancer as I wish to be acknowledged.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I listen to cancer as I wish to be listened to.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love cancer as I wish to be loved."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so I've meditated, visualised, created new affirmations, and I've come away with Acceptance. It feels so good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I may or may not keep cancer in check. The reality is that I am not in control. I can eat well to FEEL well. I can run and practice yoga for my health, not to fight cancer. It finally occurs to me that the Universe may have plans for me other than my own! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I may desire a sunny day. I can meditate on it, wish for it and long for it, but the only truth is that if I joyfully accept the day for whatever it brings, I'll be happy in the moments. I think I may finally be learning to let go, surrender and trust. </span><br />
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Nicola Corcoranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13224042646792306469noreply@blogger.com2