Balance

Last week I met a friend for lunch. She has also had breast cancer, yet she surprised me by telling me that she never thinks about it. It made me realise that I keep cancer close, albeit in a mindful way. 

Finding the balance on this journey has proved challenging. My daily routine subtly reinforces the fact that I'm in the process of healing. Coffee enemas, juicing and taking supplements all tip their hat to cancer. In my home there are many nods to health: the water filter in the kitchen, the geopathic stress buster in the dining room, the FIR sauna in the bedroom. These are all health-promoting gadgets, but still they are winking at cancer. Meditating, yoga, blogging, all of these activities remind me that where I was once ill, I am now on a path to health. While none of this is negative, the danger is that if I take away cancer there's nothing left. Being The Cancer Woman is not a title I desire! 

I'm genuinely not afraid of cancer. It's my companion, my teacher, my guide. And so while I will embrace the time when I no longer think about it, I'm cautious of leaving it behind, because it still fulfils a purpose: gently reminding me to maintain a healthy lifestyle and to keep growing. In the meantime, maybe it's time to pick up some of the things I dropped on the day of diagnosis.