Monday, 27 April 2015


Last weekend I set off for my first ever retreat. I needed some space to process my last test result, and I felt tired. I wanted someone to nurture me in a practical way. 

I drove to Amchara in Somerset for what I thought would be some intense navel gazing. As it turned out, I slept, and gratefully received meals, which were lovingly prepared, mostly raw, and did not require any cleaning up!!! I topped up on smoothies and juices, and drank a LOT of water. 

An unexpected pro, was that there was NO caffeine to be found on the retreat, not even my trusty green tea. Of course, I'd snuck a few cheeky teabags into my suitcase at the last minute (my addicted self must have had an inkling!) but when they ran out, I went cold turkey for the first time in my life. The upshot was a drilling headache for the entirety of the retreat, but one week down the line I'm the proud owner of a caffeine free body! As an adrenal person this is an incredibly positive thing. It's something I've THOUGHT about addressing many times without having the willpower to carry through. 

During my four days away I had hypnotherapy, Swedish body massage, Indian head massage and a very powerful Reiki session. I maintained daily coffee enemas, and tried a (successful) colonic irrigation. I practiced yoga, went for a run, and attempted Qi Gong. I laid in the sun, read the papers, watched (non-health related films) and.... slept. In the words of my hypnotherapist "You are feeling very relaxed, very lazy, no-body wants anything of you, and no-body expects anything of you". I reset myself, energetically and emotionally.

What I learned from this time in solitude, was not, of course, what I expected. There were no cancer revelations, just the understanding that my home life is more stressful than I really understood. That made me a bit sad. I love my life, I've worked hard to manifest what I desire. I love home educating, living where I live, doing what I do. But caring consciously for a family is intrinsically hard work. Switching off from that role, and being cared FOR, meant that I slipped easily into parasympathetic mode, where I was relaxed, and therefore able to heal. I didn't push myself, or punish myself, by attempting every class or activity, and I wasn't interested in juice fasting (although I absolutely believe there's a place for it). No, I wanted to be NOURISHED in every way. I asked for huge portions, savouring the salads, raw soups, kale chips and avocado cacao puddings.

I came away feeling that it's entirely possible to heal in a way that I had previously misunderstood, and I've managed to hold onto a new, more positive mindset. I realise that I'd been living with a lot of fear, and I'm now practicing my daily positive affirmations and visualisations with more clarity. I am in remission, I am well, and I am looking forward to my next retreat ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment