Friday 14 November 2014

Dancing with cancer

In the early days of our relationship, my husband and I went to salsa classes. He would complain that I was always trying to lead, that I was too rigid! When I relaxed and trusted, it became so much more fun. 

I see cancer as a dance. One that just got a bit more energetic. For the second year in a row, my Minimal Residual Disease test shows elevated cancer cells. 

The day of the test results I shut down. I was upset. Disappointed. I had tried to sneak back into 'normal' society, pretending that I was done with cancer, that my new happy life meant I could have the occasional glass of wine, eat the kids gluten free bread, order cheese in a restaurant, snack on dark chocolate for a treat. The reality is, that although blissfully contented, cheating with food was never a long-term option. I believe wholeheartedly in epigenetics. I know that I still have circulating cancer stem cells. I understand that should I create a friendly environment for those cells, they will metastasise. 

On day two I got my head down. I read. I went back to basics. What was I doing in the early days after diagnosis that kept my results stable? What did I instinctively feel would heal me?

By day three I had a new protocol. One which focuses on healing my gut (leaky gut being at the core of all auto-immune disease, cancer being one), and on boosting my immune system. Back to vegan. Gluten, grain, potato and legume free. Zero sugar. More green everything. More raw. More sprouted seeds and nuts. The full list of supplements looks like this: medicinal mushrooms, curcumin, ubiquinol, vitamin A, probiotics, enzymes, zinc, magnesium, vitamin D3, B patches, iodine, zeolite, flaxseed oil, bee pollen (the only non-vegan aspect), Angioblock, Artemix, vitamin C, silica, DIM, epsom baths, FIR infrared saunas, liver packs, coffee enemas, wheatgrass implants.

The new protocol is pretty intense. There are pills with food, pills without food, pills with protein. However, I feel great. I feel clear. I feel hopeful and more authentic.

Just Let Go
Let go of how you thought
your life should be
and embrace the life that
is trying to work its way
into your consciousness